Funny Funny Funny brought some interesting responses. One reader told me he thought the constant refrain of “ … except for Eddie” was particularly amusing. But the really funny response was from a friend in the Central Valley of California who contacted me to tell me the rest of the story about Richard Kiel aka “Jaws” from the James Bond movies, aka “Eddie” in the film “So Fine”

It seems Richard Kiel was a real life political wise guy. According to my friend, he and Richard Kiel served on his community’s water board together. It seems that Richard (from this point forward, Eddie), as the reigning president of the water board, knowing he and his cronies were politically vulnerable had made arrangements to get dead people to vote. If the dead people’s vote didn’t cover his shortfall, he knew he could claim vote fraud because he knew in advance dead people were voting. Indeed, Eddie and his cronies fell short; and, as the playbook called for, Eddie and his cronies claimed voter fraud with dead people voting. The election was overturned and a new election was scheduled.

Hydrogene, my friend, was travelling with his bride from point A to point B and stopped at a local Denny’s Restaurant to grab a bite to eat while on the road. While waiting to be seated, Hydrogene took a brief detour to the men’s room. Standing outside the men’s room with his back turned, was Eddie, hunched over a pay phone in deep concentration. With a quiet sniff of contempt, Gene rejoined his wife at their booth.

Not five minutes later, who should come to be seated in the booth right behind Hydrogene and his wife, literally right behind Hydrogene’s head, but Eddie and another member of the water board (I-Gor – “yes master- hee hee”). They immediately started talking, plotting on how they were planning on rigging the replacement election. After listening to these two wise guys throughout their dinner, Hydrogene gets up and goes around the corner to confront Eddie and I-Gor.

Hydrogene challenges Eddie and tells him he is going to turn him in. Eddie and I-Gor get confrontational and start to exclaim, “it’s your word against ours”. Thinking fast, Hydrogene says, “nice try wise guy, but my wife has the whole thing on tape.” Wife, not missing a beat, snaps her purse shut and says, “I’ve got it all. Let’s leave.” A commotion ensues, the police are called, Hydrogene and his wife pay their bill and beat feet.

Two weeks later, Gene tells me, he gets a call from an attorney, friend, and fellow member of the water board who tells him, “Gene, I’m going to be sending you a letter.” The letter announced that Eddie and I-Gor had instituted an investigation on behalf of the board charging Gene and his wife with illegal wire tapping all the while submitting the bill ($2K) to Hydrogene. Talk about charging your family for the bullets used in your execution!

About two weeks later, same friend called to say, “Gene, I’m sending you a letter.” This time, it was a letter saying the incident was all a tempest in a tea pot and no crimes were committed since it was a public place and an accidental encounter. Hardly what one might call a heinous crime. No harm, no foul, no $2K bill for the execution.

Hydrogene, being the little rabble rouser he is, printed off a hundred copies of each letter and handed them out at the door just prior to the next public meeting of the water board. Because one of the issues was the upcoming election, attendance was strong. The stink raised was enough to destroy the corrupt political career of Eddie, aka “Jaws” aka Richard Kiel. Eddie and I-Gor ended up leaving the community, slinking away to whatever fate befell them.

The allegories here are rich. The nobody traps the powerful in their own actions, their own words and use them to destroy the once rich and powerful. It is an old story told throughout history. For me, the lesson to be learned is that in order for evil to prevail, honest men must be cowed into inaction. If the honest man will stand up and confront the evil he sees, the best laid plans of evil men can be destroyed.

The LieBor scandal is unfolding before our eyes. The manipulation of the commodities market is unraveling and we are about to see the naked emperor through the glass darkly. “You don’t mind if I avert my eyes, do you?” All that is left is for good men and women, people who read this, to stand up and say, ‘I’m sick of this shit and I’m not taking it anymore.’

Do that, and the evil shall wash from our shores like sands before the tide.