One is not born with a gender; one is born with a sex. The World Health Organization defines "gender" as "the socially constructed roles, behaviors, activities and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women.” Gender is not static over time or across societies. The stories of Rachael Dolezal and Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner illustrate exactly what women have been saying for centuries – we are invisible, our voice does not matter.

Much of the transgender male to female sub-culture embraces the worst of patriarchal gender stereotypes against women: Bruce Jenner claiming he has a female brain (though science has proven there is no such thing), a focus on looks, hair, makeup, and clothes (the main desire of most women is not to wear nail polish as Jenner seeks, but to be free from violence and to have agency), a belief that women are more emotional and moody, and an emphasis on what men consider sexy. Yet to criticize the adoption of such harmful stereotypes is to invite often vicious attack.

Much has been written about the Dolezal story and whether a white person can pass as or become Black and whether a category of “transracial” exists. Alicia Walters states in Alternet, June 15, 2015, “Black womanhood is an identity forged in the lived experiences of black children. Anything else perpetuates society’s fetish for celebrating only parts of our bodies.” Likewise, male to female changes often celebrate only part of our bodies (breasts, vaginas) and not the whole of women. As Walters says, the performance of Black womanhood is prized over the real Black Woman. Likewise, Jenner has little resemblance to the average American woman but he has a lot of resemblance to the patriarchal stereotype of woman with cleavage, makeup, hair, and dress. He is valued over the experiences of real women who struggled through sexism to get to individual autonomy separate from the gender role assigned us at birth.

In Color Complex on June 12, Britni Danielle said, “[S]he (Dolezal) essentially appropriates spaces reserved for marginalized people.” Likewise, when male to female transgender people insist on entry into women only spaces, they are appropriating the little space reserved for women. Terrell Jermaine Starr reports in Civil Liberties on June 12 what Elle Hearns, a black trans woman said about the issue:

“Equating my experience to someone such as Rachel who has only pretended to share my real-life experience is violent erasure,” Hearns told AlterNet in an interview. “It plays into the notion that trans people, especially black trans women, are being deceptive in regards to their experience, which is also how I think we elevate the violence that trans people face as a result of their identity and we don’t allow for space to be reflective of actual oppression that we experience every single day. I think about the fact that Rachel is a white woman. Period. And at any point and time that is convenient for her, she can return to being white. As black people, we do not have that option.”

The failure of Hearns to see that what she is doing is exactly what Dolezal did – erasing women’s experiences - is astounding. Transpeople are being deceptive in regard to their experience, as they did not grow up female in a patriarchal culture. They do face oppression and violence, as do women though for different reasons, but it’s wrong nevertheless. As Hearns sees Rachael as a white woman, so I see transwomen as men. Period. Transwomen can return to being men, and some do. Jenner is not the only one who is keeping his penis, the very symbol of patriarchy.

In the Starr article Yaba Blay says that, “transracial” … “allows white people to embrace a very limited aspect of the black experience.” She gives the example of Black hair and baking sweet potato pie, both very stereotypical portraits of Blacks. Likewise, Jenner with his cleavage and make up is expressing a very limited experience of women – that prescribed by patriarchy. As Blay says, you can’t control the performance of the race people take on. Similarly women can’t control the behavior of transgenders who often perpetuate stereotypical behaviors. This is the opposite of the feminist goal of eliminating gender roles and allowing people to be who they are without fear.

Sex is not either/or any more than race is Black or white. We all are on a continuum and should be respected as human. Some girls like trucks, some like dolls; some girls cry, some fight. The same goes for boys. Women fought to wear pants. Perhaps men need to fight to wear dresses, in some countries they already do. Women fought to be recognized as more than nurturers. Perhaps men need to fight to be nurturers, younger men are often much more involved with child care. Instead of busting into hard fought space created by women, men outside the patriarchal gender norm need to create their own space. Males should join women in smashing the “gender” prescriptions rather than embrace and imitate them.

Elinor Burkett in the June 6, 2015 Sunday Review predicted the Dolezal uproar as she wrote: “The “I was born in the wrong body” rhetoric favored by other trans people doesn’t work any better and is just as offensive, reducing us to our collective breasts and vaginas. Imagine the reaction if a young white man suddenly declared that he was trapped in the wrong body and, after using chemicals to change his skin pigmentation and crocheting his hair into twists, expected to be embraced by the black community.”

Burkett was subject to an outpouring of wrath. As predicted, the reverse is happening in the Dolezal case. It is Dolezal who is attacked for suggesting she could transition into a Black person while Jenner was praised. In Color Complex, Britni Danielle quoted Mia Farrow as saying we accept that a person can identify as transgender. How is it different?

Blair Kelly a professor at North Carolina State University rejects the comparison saying that there is a history of people who are transgender experiencing suffering for their feelings. It’s true; it’s wrong; it should stop. But to stop their suffering, they should not have to change; endure surgeries and medical treatments; suffer discrimination and violence. Society must change to accept them and all of us for who we are.

To remind Kelly, a long heritage of women suffering exists as well because they were rejected, not allowed to express themselves, many became physically ill from wearing corsets for example that didn’t let them breathe or shoes that crushed their feet, some became mentally ill from being prohibited from reading or writing or even thinking. It still goes on today. Women sold into early marriage immolate themselves as the only way to escape violence. Children become refugees to escape female genital mutilation. Girls are shot in the head for advocating education. Is the solution to have those women change into men? Of course not. The solution is to change societal beliefs.

Of course, women have passed as men. In every war, women dressed as men and fought because they would not be allowed to fight as women. Women scientists, writers, and artists have passed as male because it was the only way they could live their passion. In the Starr article, Sil Lai Abrams said it is offensive to pass as Black because it was not done for self-preservation and the person passing does not know the Black pain. Likewise, the men now passing as female do not know women’s pain, they only know patriarchies portrayal of women, which they often duplicate to the detriment of women themselves.

Just as African-Americans point out that a person who was not raised Black, who has not gone through the crucible of living in a racist society do not get to define who is Black, men who have not been raised or grown up in a sexist society do not get to define women. Why is this so easy to see in the “transracial” context but not in the “transgender” context?

Ms. Dolezal should be able to live her passion as she chooses including working in the African-American community but she need not pretend to be Black to do so. Mr. Jenner should be able to live his passion as he chooses including dressing and behaving as he desires, but he need not pretend to be a woman. They can both be who they are.

Race is no more biological than gender is. In an ideal world, there would be no racism because scientifically the category of race does not exist. We are all just humans. Sex is biological but gender is not. So in that ideal world, gender discrimination would not exist because people would be free to act as they felt not as society mandated based on physical characteristics. We are not at that ideal world but if we don’t strive for it, we’ll never get there. If whites can define Blacks and men can define women, we haven’t moved an inch.

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