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Borowitz writes: "Queen Elizabeth II is moving to Canada 'immediately' and should take up full-time residence there by the end of the week, Buckingham Palace confirmed on Tuesday."

Queen Elizabeth II driving a car. (photo: Getty Images)
Queen Elizabeth II driving a car. (photo: Getty Images)


Queen Elizabeth Moving to Canada

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

23 July 19

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


ueen Elizabeth II is moving to Canada “immediately” and should take up full-time residence there by the end of the week, Buckingham Palace confirmed on Tuesday.

The Queen offered no reason for the move, but the palace indicated that she had been packing her bags for the past several weeks.

In a sign that the Queen’s decision is irrevocable, the palace revealed that her beloved corgis had already been flown to Toronto.

In a brief farewell statement to the British people, the Queen explained why she had chosen Canada as her new home. “We speak the language, and our picture’s on the money there,” she said.

She said that she had “no regrets” about abdicating the throne to her son, Charles. “At this point, there’s nothing he can do to make the U.K. more messed up than it already is,” she said.

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