Borowitz writes: "Vice-President Mike Pence has requested that Jesus Christ rapture him up before the special counsel Robert Mueller can indict him, a source close to Pence confirmed on Friday."
Mike Pence. (photo: Andrew Harrer/Bloomberg/Getty Images)
Pence Asks Jesus to Rapture Him Up Before Mueller Can Indict Him
10 December 17
The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report." 
ice-President Mike Pence has requested that Jesus Christ rapture him up before the special counsel Robert Mueller can indict him, a source close to Pence confirmed on Friday.
Shortly after the former national-security adviser Michael Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the F.B.I., Pence contacted Jesus to discuss the early rapture proposal, the source said.
The source characterized Pence�s request to be raptured up as �urgent� but did not indicate whether the Vice-President asked Jesus to rapture up any other senior Administration officials.
�Some of these people will have to be left behind, for obvious reasons,� the source said. �Jared, for example.�
After the news of Pence�s conversation with Jesus leaked to the press, the Vice-President released an official statement, intended to tamp down speculation about his rapture request.
�I had a good conversation with Jesus Christ earlier in the day,� the statement read. �We touched on the timetable of my rapturing-up, along with a broad range of other issues. That is all I have to say at the present time.�
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Most of the charges are not much more and failures to communicate. Mueller says Manafort did not properly report things he did or money he moved from overseas work to the US. So just re-file the reports. Happens all the time.
This is a pretty weak start. Nothing that happened that this indictemnt refers to involves a real crime. The "conspiracy agqinst the US" is an admission that no crime took place. Conspiracy means two or more people appeared discuss a crime and made some sort of action in the direction of the crime but actually doing the crime is not part of it.
We have not heard the last from Mueller. He's off to a weak start. We just have wait to see his next move.