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Borowitz writes: "The pornography industry has likely suffered permanent damage as a result of its unfortunate association with the Texas senator Ted Cruz, industry sources said on Tuesday."

Sen. Cruz. (photo: Mark Peterson/Redux)
Sen. Cruz. (photo: Mark Peterson/Redux)


Porn Industry Irrevocably Damaged by Association With Ted Cruz

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

13 September 17

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


he pornography industry has likely suffered permanent damage as a result of its unfortunate association with the Texas senator Ted Cruz, industry sources said on Tuesday.

Porn, which takes in annual profits of fifteen billion dollars, could see those revenues decimated if, as some industry experts fear, users begin to have intrusive thoughts involving Senator Cruz.

“For porn producers, this is a crisis with no simple solution,” Harland Dorrinson, an industry insider, said. “If you warn viewers not to think about Ted Cruz, there’s a real danger that that’s all they’ll think about.”

In the hours since porn first became associated with the Texas senator, traffic to porn sites has plummeted in what industry sources are ruefully calling “the Cruz effect.”

“I’ve enjoyed porn for years and never dreamed that anything could ruin the experience for me,” Davis Logsdon, a porn user from Minnesota, said. “Thanks a lot, Ted Cruz.”


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+20 # Realist1948 2017-09-14 06:12
The Cruz Effect is already spilling over into the home electronics industry. I was in Best Buy yesterday and couldn't find even one pornograph on the store shelves. Sad.
 
 
+23 # Salus Populi 2017-09-14 06:38
It is clearly time to deport Senator Cruise [Crudes? Whatever] back to Canada or Cuba. My g-d!! To have polluted something as patriotically American as the porn industry -- the mind reels!!
 
 
+5 # Juanbaltimore 2017-09-15 14:06
We Canadians don't want him.
 
 
0 # Wise woman 2017-09-14 10:19
Porn is the mysogenists dream. Need I say more?
 
 
+2 # SHK 2017-09-16 21:07
No need to say what you are saying. What Andy is saying says all that needs to be said. What you are saying is totally out of connection with the spirit of his piece. He said it all and it was funny. That's what satire is about. Never get serious with a joke...spoils the whole thing. Just sayin'.
 
 
+13 # laborequalswealth 2017-09-14 14:47
The thought of Ted Cruz and sex is enough to make anyone celebate.
 

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