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Pierce writes: "Let us catch our breath for a minute and take stock. These people misplaced an entire carrier attack group and then tried to bluff their way past it in a way guaranteed to make a crazy guy with a bad haircut and a huge army nervous."

Donald Trump. (photo: Getty Images)
Donald Trump. (photo: Getty Images)


Who Among Us Has Not Misplaced an Aircraft Carrier?

By Charles Pierce, Esquire

19 April 17

 

The newest scene in our national tragicomedy.

K, somebody needs to explain how these things happen. From the NYT:

The problem was, the carrier, the Carl Vinson, and the four other warships in its strike force were at that very moment sailing in the opposite direction, to take part in joint exercises with the Australian Navy in the Indian Ocean, 3,500 miles southwest of the Korean Peninsula. White House officials said on Tuesday they were relying on guidance from the Defense Department. Officials there described a glitch-ridden sequence of events, from a premature announcement of the deployment by the military's Pacific Command to an erroneous explanation by Defense Secretary Jim Mattis — all of which perpetuated the false narrative that an American armada was racing toward the waters off North Korea. By the time the White House was asked about the Carl Vinson on April 11, its imminent arrival had been emblazoned on front pages across East Asia, fanning fears that Mr. Trump was considering a pre-emptive military strike on North Korea. It was portrayed as further evidence of the president's muscular style two days after he ordered a missile strike on Syria while he and President Xi Jinping of China were finishing dessert during a meeting in Florida.

Let us catch our breath for a minute and take stock.

These people misplaced an entire carrier attack group and then tried to bluff their way past it in a way guaranteed to make a crazy guy with a bad haircut and a huge army nervous.

Thank god my running mate advised us not to get too crazy about this.

This episode does not seem to be a lie as much as it seems to be a further demonstration of the clusterfckish management style there at Camp Runamuck. At this point, my faith in what the administration says is such that I believe that, when the missiles flew into Syria, the president* and Xi actually were splitting a Twinkie and a bottle of YooHoo.

A beautiful Twinkie.

And the best bottle of YooHoo you ever saw.

e-max.it: your social media marketing partner
 

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+122 # CDMR 2017-04-19 11:25
He's not called MOABA for nothing. The Mother of All Bullshit Artists just dropped another one one the world.

Camp Runamuck is a good new name for the Southern White House at Mar-a-Lago.
 
 
+95 # Buddha 2017-04-19 13:23
Quoting Charles Pierce:
...a crazy guy with a bad haircut and a huge army...


Doesn't that describe Trump just as much as Lil' Kim?
 
 
+46 # vt143 2017-04-19 15:29
Actually, I assumed he WAS talking about Donald!
 
 
+5 # Texas Aggie 2017-04-19 23:35
At first I thought that it was supposed to describe drumpf and it didn't make any sense in context. Then finally I figured that it was supposed to describe Kimmy.
 
 
+72 # Femihumanist 2017-04-19 13:24
Whether you've seen it or not, it's time to re-see "Dr. Strangelove." I thought it was about the "Cold War." It's really about the Trumpopaths.
 
 
+12 # Skippydelic 2017-04-20 01:18
True, but at the same time, Trump is MUCH more like General Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden) or Gen. Buck Turgidson (George C. Scott) than President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers).
 
 
+8 # Time Traveller 2017-04-20 09:52
Agreed, Skip - here is a one minute clip of Scott knocking it out of the park as Buck Turgidson. Kinda reminds me of my late ace Cold Warrior dad, actually. He supervised the Aero Propulsion Lab at Wright Patterson AFB from 1949 to 1959, working with over 100 German engineers brought here by the Office if Strategic Services in "Project Paperclip."

When he headed engine development program for F-15 and F-16, he consulted with, then invited the top 3 surviving German WW II aces to F- 15 Rollout ceremony. After, they came to our house to drink and sing German beer hall songs with the old man... So, yeah, I pretty much LIVED in a Strangelovian world as a kid.

Great screen name, BTW. I joined a two man carpentry crew w boss nicknamed Skippy, helper named Flippy. Asked who I was, I replied, "Trippy, of course!"


https://youtu.be/UxLe8MWdWe0
 
 
+64 # Desiderata 2017-04-19 13:35
Twitler 's Clusterfck in Camp Runamuck.....Se ason 1...how perfect.
Childish name calling will not change the status quo but it does add a certain levity to an otherwise terrifying scenario.Mispla cing an aircraft carrier ? Eating chocolate cake and commenting on it publicly while American bombs are raining in the MiddleEast ?Whatever credibility and respect Obama was able to restore to America during his presidency has been eroded in 100 days. I doubt that it will be restored anytime soon.
The affect of all of this on the security of the Homeland remains to be seen.
 
 
+57 # sea7kenp 2017-04-19 14:13
Yes: The Aircraft Carrier was in my top, left-hand dresser drawer.
 
 
-32 # geriraf@nmia.com 2017-04-19 14:25
North Korea can jam GPS--has done so in the past--and maybe we don't want to admit they sent our aircraft carrier and escorts off course. See p. 190 in Marc Goodman's Future Crimes: Inside the Digital Underground and the Battle for Our Connected World.
 
 
+22 # Michaeljohn 2017-04-19 16:01
Quoting geriraf@nmia.com:
North Korea can jam GPS--has done so in the past--and maybe we don't want to admit they sent our aircraft carrier and escorts off course. See p. 190 in Marc Goodman's Future Crimes: Inside the Digital Underground and the Battle for Our Connected World.


Much more likely that our hacking screwed up the NK's latest ICBM launch.
 
 
+10 # Texas Aggie 2017-04-19 23:38
You ARE joking, aren't you? In the future please mark with S/ because according to Poe's law, reality and satire are so closely entwined anymore that each can be confused with the other.
 
 
+22 # Skyelav 2017-04-19 14:33
The sad thing is Trump thinks he can BS his way through this by delegating. I am sure the delegatees would rather see him in Palm Beach.
 
 
+18 # Salus Populi 2017-04-19 14:34
Actually, they just took a little detour to search for that missing Malaysian airliner ... and make a quick stop in one of the port cities that has a Trump named property.....

Coulda happened to any body, you know; and it WAS a YU-U-U-U-UGE story, in addition to being Fake Media --
 
 
+16 # dotlady 2017-04-19 15:15
Not impossible that GPS was jammed, but disorganization chez Trump more likely.
Just a note about digital(or pulse weapon) control of vehicles - do electric car drivers realize they can be hacked and sent anywhere desired by the hacker? How about trains? Are we ceding our safety and survival by handing off our living senses to GPS technology?
 
 
+1 # kgrad 2017-04-22 13:14
Quoting dotlady:
Not impossible that GPS was jammed, but disorganization chez Trump more likely.
Just a note about digital(or pulse weapon) control of vehicles - do electric car drivers realize they can be hacked and sent anywhere desired by the hacker? How about trains? Are we ceding our safety and survival by handing off our living senses to GPS technology?


How about airplanes?!
 
 
+48 # tedrey 2017-04-19 15:40
Alternative explanation:

Trump got mad at North Korea at the worst possible time and told his generals to send an attack fleet to North Korea. His generals looked at one another and said "We better send it somewhere else while the old imbecile cools down a bit."

Of course, this scenari assumes some sanity among the generals, so is likely fake news.
 
 
+9 # Time Traveller 2017-04-19 15:57
I found it! Here it is, riding a thousand foot tidal wave and wiping out the White House!

Best 24 seconds of film ever made, IMHO...

https://youtu.be/Myq-3sxZEhc
 
 
+3 # Allanfearn 2017-04-19 16:27
It couldn't be, could it, that Mr Kim's missiles are fully capable of targetting and hitting the Carl Vinson as far away from Korea as Colombo? And that your Department of Defense is fully aware of this? And you don't want the Sri Lankans or the Australians to know that? Stranger things have happened.
 
 
+10 # Floe 2017-04-19 16:41
Well we asked for this. Or at least we funded it and still do.
 
 
+9 # oakes721 2017-04-19 16:46
.
"Wha...it's gone? GONE? Sunk? They SUNK my boat!!! Where's that big red button...?"
.
"Oh, you mean it was just like April's fool's daze. Yeah, sure, I get it now."
.
 
 
+8 # futhark 2017-04-19 18:18
R.E.M. prophecy from 1987 has almost been realized: "The End Of The World As We Know It"

Verse 1
"That's great, it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes
And Lenny Bruce is not afraid"

Verse 3 (attention on word 6 of line 1)
"Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh oh, overflow, population, common group..."

In full:
https://play.google.com/music/preview/T2c6cl6fglhs6esjdzcxmfoslhe?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics
 
 
+6 # Wise woman 2017-04-19 19:43
A note to the navy? Forget the GPS and Trump and start using your brains. I have never misplaced an aircraft carrier because I don't have a GPS or a trump card. Can't stop laughing at that headline!
 
 
+10 # Citizen Mike 2017-04-19 19:58
What saves us is that this guy is a dimwit and completely incompetent, and has surrounded himself with his equals. He is not nearly as smart as Hitler who had a coherent plan and was an effective public speaker. Just equally nasty, but nasty is not an administrative skill.
 
 
+6 # suziemama 2017-04-19 22:48
I read somewhere that the Navy has started training its crews to navigate using "old-fashioned" instruments, in case the GPS systems are hacked, or otherwise inoperable.
 
 
+2 # Wise woman 2017-04-19 23:35
Just the title of this article has had me giggling all day. Leave it to the trumpster and his generals to lose one sucker of a big boat. Or are they just sneaking around checking out NK and don't want anyone to know about it. So they'll just tell the world it's lost. Who among us? Guess who.
 
 
+5 # elkingo 2017-04-20 01:51
Precious! An I Love Lucy comedy which would be funny except that it involves nukes. Come to think of it, maybe it's funnier because of that.

Funny too, that the two best of a very bad lot, Tilly and Mad Dog, who do effuse a certain dignity and competence (even though they are both geocidally nuts of course) should be dragged into this farce too.

O, and Kimmie's hairstyle should be enough to disqualify him from office. Hmmm, maybe that could be a bonding point with Donald. Maybe next week the Donald will be praising Kimmy, and dumping on, say, India.
 

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