Borowitz writes: "Bernie Sanders failed to impress major media outlets over the weekend as he barely managed to win seventy percent of the vote in three western primaries."
Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders arrives for a rally at the Moda Center in Portland, Oregon on March 25, 2016. (photo: Steve Dykes/AP)
Media Unimpressed as Sanders Barely Gets Seventy Percent of Vote
28 March 16
The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report." 
ernie Sanders failed to impress major media outlets over the weekend as he barely managed to win seventy per cent of the vote in three western primaries.
The major cable networks briefly mentioned Sanders�s vote tallies in Washington, Alaska, and Hawaii but noted that he ran out of steam well shy of eighty per cent.
�There�s no point in sugarcoating it,� one analyst put it. �Rough night for Sanders.�
According to one cable executive, Sanders needs to �put up some big numbers fast� if he expects the networks to continue giving his campaign airtime.
�It�s going to be harder and harder to justify covering him while he�s stuck down in the seventy-per-cent range,� the executive said.
While Sanders campaign officials remain optimistic about the upcoming primary in Wisconsin, media outlets are calling it a �do or die� state after his sputtering finishes over the weekend.
�I think if he limps across the finish line with, say, seventy-five or seventy-nine per cent, it�s going to be time for him to reassess things,� one cable representative said. �That would have to be a wake-up call.�
A spokesperson for CNN could not be reached for comment, as the network was busy preparing a ninety-minute special on the birth of Donald Trump�s new grandchild.
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It destroys bodies and souls. It is a powerful recruiting tool for the enemies of the U.S. It extracts false information. It was someone being tortured who said that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. That's what the torturers wanted to hear, so that's what the torturee told them. (If Saddam Hussein had had WMDs, don't you think he would have used them?)
Also relevant to right now is operatino Glaudio, the CIA's covert op to rig elections in Europe from the late 1940s up through the 80s. The CIA got so good at election rigging that it began doing the same thing in the US. Now we have the CIA's meddling in the Trump campaign and its use of Stefan Halper, a long time election rigger, to develop plans to overthrow Trump. The war is coming home, but it has always been at home.
If you would like to support John for his selfless efforts to fight against torture see the link below.
https://salsa.wiredforchange.com/o/6503/p/salsa/donation/common/public/?donate_page_KEY=11468
Now we have officers of the federal government, no less, who have used torture as a means to reveal what passes for "truth".
Anyone comfortable with this situation must be totally lacking in empathy and ignorant of testimony that those under torture tend to tell the torturer what they think the torturer wants to hear, not necessarily the truth.
I take personal offense in having my government employing such grossly unethical, inefficient, and unreliable means to gather information.
Brainwashing in the United States of Amnesia [Gore Vidal's felicitous expression] is alive and well. I don't think any other country on Earth combines such a supercilious and arrogant attitude among the educated with such abysmal ignorance of what is really going on. We swim like fish in a propaganda ocean, all unawares of the sewage that makes up our _gestalt_.
Which station (channel?) in Los Angeles, please?
Scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page.
I really pity people who listen to NPR or watch MSNBC or CNN or Fox. They don't know what they are missing. It is also very ironic that it takes a Russian owned station to do this. Sputnik offers OK salaries, healthcare, retirement, and other benefits -- not things that small media outlets often do.
He says he has never been told what he can or can't cover while working at RT.
http://www.johnkiriakou.com/books/the-reluctant-spy/
The American Deep State hates Sputnik and RT because they often have very good programs, something totally absent from US TV and Radio.
I have no doubt that the CIA planted this story in the New Republic. They do this in very many media outlets. This is part of how the American oligarchs rule. They can plant fake news anywhere they like, though they seem to prefer the NYT or Wapo, but any publication from New York works just fine.