Today in Colossal Dickitude

By Charles Pierce, Esquire

01 October 15

House Republicans link Planned Parenthood to the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

n case there are three entities out there, besides the voices in Carly Fiorina's head, who still believe that the "controversy" surrounding Planned Parenthood is in anyway authentic, as opposed to a concerted effort at ratfcking the organization into the Phantom Zone right alongside ACORN, Wednesday's little encounter between Cecile Richards and Congressman Jason Chaffetz ought to seal the deal for you.

Chaffetz, who chairs the committee, started off by asking Richards about funds that were sent overseas. "Do any of these funds go to the Democratic Republic of the Congo?" Chaffetz said early in the back-and-forth. "Congressman, let me tell you —" Richards said before Chaffetz interrupted her. "No, no, no. We don't have time for a big narrative," Chaffetz said. "I'm not going to give you a narrative —" Richards said. "Yes or no," Chaffetz replied, before Richards gave a more lengthy response… Chaffetz also took time to note Richards' salary. "Your compensation in 2009 was $353,000. Is that correct?" he asked. "I don't have the figures with me, but —" Richards said. "It was," Chaffetz replied. "Congratulations."

Please to be sodding off now.

You may be baffled by the sudden appearance in the colloquy of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, arguably the worst place in the world right now. What the fck does Chaffetz care about the DRC? That's because you do not spend 20 hours a day marinating in the right-wing media crackpot crockpot. Here are the ingredients: a) the fact that the DRC is a nightmarish place where children are forced into prostitution and trafficked freely; b) that there is AN E-MAIL! that revealed that Bill Clinton once did not speak at an event at which Joseph Kabila, the vampirish leader of the DRC would be in attendance, and c) PP is active there in trying to make sure that the women caught up in an epidemic of brutal sexual violence stay relatively healthy and that they do not get pregnant by their rapists if they do not want to do so. It's Fetus-Fondling Bingo. Oh, and by the way, the staunchly red state of Missouri concluded its investigation of Planned Parenthood's activities in that state.