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Borowitz writes: "A largely forgotten man sought attention on Wednesday night before returning to obscurity on Thursday, according to reports."

Former NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani, who said President Obama 'doesn't love America.' (photo: CLTampa.com)
Former NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani, who said President Obama 'doesn't love America.' (photo: CLTampa.com)


Forgotten Man Seeks Attention

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

20 February 15

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


largely forgotten man sought attention on Wednesday night before returning to obscurity on Thursday, according to reports.

The man, whom many Americans had difficulty placing, was making a desperate bid to remind people of his existence, experts believe.

His efforts were somewhat successful, as his widely reported outburst caused people across the country to rack their brains to try to remember who he was.

After briefly attempting to recall where they had seen the man before, many people gave up and moved on with their days, but for others, the desperate man’s remarks left a bitter aftertaste.

“There is no excuse for making comments like those, no matter who you are,” Tracy Klugian, forty-seven, of Springfield, Missouri, said. “Who is he again?”

Still others showed concern for the man, and expressed hope that, instead of future bids for attention, he would find fulfillment in crafting or some other harmless hobby.

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+87 # RMDC 2015-02-20 18:36
Yes, indeed. This man is a legend in his own mind. If he only knew where he left his mind. It is not likely he will take up some harmless hobby. It is just not in him. He'll go on trying to creep out of obscurity forever.
 
 
+33 # Old4Poor 2015-02-21 00:23
But he already has a hobby as a Drag Queen.

The photos are nightmare producing.
 
 
+17 # keenon the truth 2015-02-20 18:45
Help, someone. It's been a busy week. What did I miss?

Later edit:Sorry, I didn't look at the photo. Wish there was a way to delete comments.
 
 
+6 # Old4Poor 2015-02-21 00:22
Try going to edit and simply delete what you do not want.
 
 
+9 # Skippydelic 2015-02-21 01:34
Actually, you didn't REALLY miss anything… ;-)
 
 
+62 # pappajohn15@Gmail.com 2015-02-20 22:52
.
Perhaps he and Bill O'Reilly can concoct a unsupportable fantasy of what they did to save the country 14 years ago. Might involve leaping over tall buildings.

(Then repeat it a few hundred times until our media has the presence of mind to actually check it out!)
 
 
+65 # Art947 2015-02-20 23:15
Is there any way that we can round up all these small men with super-inflated egos and provide them with that trip to Mars that everyone else is talking about? It should certainly satisfy their egos and provide the rest of us with respite from their stupidity.
 
 
+47 # Old4Poor 2015-02-21 00:24
Result of that action: Mars Attacks Earth.
 
 
+45 # angelfish 2015-02-21 00:29
ON the money, as USUAL Andy! You have an uncanny ability to SEE the REAL issue! A washed up Hack of a Politician looking for a spot in the Limelight once again. Really pitiful.
 
 
+26 # LGNTexas 2015-02-21 06:05
The Bracewell-Guili ani law firm has been representing the SPANISH Cintra corporation in acquiring American toll road construction contracts and management leases. Indiana, under former Republican Gov. Mitch Daniels, leased their East-West toll road giving up management for 75 years. In Texas, Cintra was in bed with Gov. Rick Perry who tried to have them build the NAFTA "superhighway from the Mexican border to the Oklahoma state line. That project failed due to much landowner resistance to losing land by eminent domain, especially to profiting foreign companies. Even though Giuliani is supposedly a moderate he endorsed the most right-wing Perry in the 2012 campaign for President. Giuliani loves America so much that his privatization plans for American roads would pad the net worth of Spanish and Australian companies. http://satollparty.com/post/?p=974
 
 
+13 # Bruce Gruber 2015-02-21 07:52
An interesting series of Sociology/Psych ology/Poly Sci PhD theses could research where so many politicians end up peddling their knowledge, contacts and "public service" experience.

Inasmuch as money is the "free-est" and most effective resource in seeking public office, correlation of pre- and post- election contributors and investors could be enlightening ... if voters were aware and inclined and capable of considering factual information in selecting their "leaders"... Scalia, Thomas, Roberts and Alito notwithstanding.

Giuliani continues to provide the entertainment divisions of mass media enterprises with the spice of 'stupidity' with which to stir, antagonize and misdirect the public away from thought and knowledge.
 
 
+9 # C-SIK 2015-02-21 09:01
OMG --- BUHDHA
I Laufhed so hard I hurt -
I couldn't place the face -
But I kept reading --- going along w/ the spirit of it so to speak ---
--- Oh My Gawd ANDY --
You set me up good - !!! -
I really did know the face, but I couldn't put a name --
And I'm trying hard - ANDY -!
And then I start reading the comments -
And Andy " OMFG " -
--- It ! - IT! - ITS!!!---
--- rudy --
rudy ???
YES !! RUDY! --
rudy -g- ???
"WE GOT U RUDY "
We were quoted to say --
THANK YOU RSN & THANK YOU ANDY --
I Owe U --- 99%OU ---
I needed that laugh although it nearly killed me --
Oh yeah and thank you Rudy ---
what does the G stand for ---???
" I forgot "
 
 
+16 # sfintersect 2015-02-21 10:37
I say Bravo Rudy! It takes most people much longer to turn themselves into a bad joke. And here you are, able to do it overnight & with just a few sentences ~ Bravo!
 
 
+2 # Corvette-Bob 2015-02-21 19:40
NEWS FLASH !!! Republicans presidential ticket for 2016. Rudy, Pres. Donald, VP.
 
 
0 # fredboy 2015-02-23 10:34
Hey, what ever happened to his spoiled rotten kid? Recall SNL doing a skit on that podium rant he shared...
 

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