The Congress Is Revolting

By Charles Pierce, Esquire

06 January 2015

was spending a quiet Sunday on a plane to Dallas, reading this lovely WaPo piece about how the new Republican-majority Congress, which will open the Reign of the Morons II this coming Tuesday, really understands that it has to govern the country responsibly this time around, and that the grown-ups are in charge again, and that my new friend Joni Ernst of Iowa will be put through the Brainiac V and come out the other side as a United States Senator, and not a person concerned about the UN and its plan to steal all our golfs. And that this will all happen just as soon as the president agrees to be president the same way Mitt Romney should have been president. Then, of course, some other news broke and my peace of mind was shattered.

"Eventually, the goal is second, third, fourth round, we have enough people that say ‘you know what, it really is time for a change,'" [Louie] Gohmert said Sunday. "'You deceived us when you went to Obama and Pelosi to get your votes for the cromnibus. You said you'd fight amnesty tooth an nail. You didn't, you funded it.'" Gohmert said, if elected, he would "fight amnesty tooth and nail. We'll use the powers of the purse. We'll have better oversight. We'll fight to defund ObamaCare." "In 2010, Boehner and other leaders said if you put us in the majority, we will have time to read the bills," Gohmert said. "That hasn't happened. We saw that with the cromnibus, again." "We'll get back to appropriating and we will go through regular committee process, so every representative from both parties will have a chance to participate in the process and not have a dictator running things," he added.

And when the Padisha Emperor of Alpha Crazoid XII speaks, all must listen. We must respect the fact that he has national asparaguses.

Since I have no job that requires me to act in any way responsibly, might I suggest that Nancy Pelosi have a nice chat with her friend John Boehner and hint that, just maybe, she might be interested in what Gohmert has to say? This will never happen, of course, just as I don't believe Gohmert's challenge is anything more than noise. I'm fairly sure he'll chicken out at some point, even if he had enough votes to scare Boehner a whiter shade of orange. Baby Jeebus is not amigo enough to do this for me. Not on the same weekend that we hear that Huck may be rising from tomb as well.

I do so despair of the rebranding.