Man Infected With Ebola Through Casual Contact With Cable News

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

08 October 14

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The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

n Ohio man has become infected with misinformation about the Ebola virus through casual contact with cable news, the Centers for Disease Control has confirmed.

Tracy Klugian, thirty-one, briefly came into contact with alarmist Ebola hearsay during a visit to the Akron-Canton airport, where a CNN report about Ebola was showing on one of the televisions in the airport bar. �Mr. Klugian is believed to have been exposed to cable news for no more than ten minutes, but long enough to become infected,� a spokesman for the C.D.C. said. �Within an hour, he was showing signs of believing that an Ebola outbreak in the United States was inevitable and unstoppable.�

Once Klugian�s condition was apparent, the Ohio man was rushed to a public library and given a seventh-grade biology textbook, at which point he �started to stabilize,� the spokesman said.

But others exposed to the widening epidemic of Ebola misinformation may not be so lucky. �A man in Oklahoma was exposed to Elisabeth Hasselbeck on Fox for over three minutes,� the C.D.C. spokesman said gravely. �We hope we�re not too late.�