Borowitz writes: "In a Thursday appearance on the Fox News Channel, former Vice-President Dick Cheney said that it was "no fair" that President Obama gets to bomb Syria."

Former Vice President Dick Cheney speaks about national security in Washington, 05/21/09. (photo: Reuters)

Cheney: "No Fair" That Obama Gets to Bomb Syria

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

25 September 14

�

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

n a Thursday appearance on the Fox News Channel, former Vice-President Dick Cheney said that it was �no fair� that President Obama gets to bomb Syria.

�I�m envious as hell,� he told Fox�s Sean Hannity. �That was on my bucket list.�

Asked if he had any advice for the President on bombing Syria, Cheney said, �Just enjoy it. It doesn�t get any better than this.�

The former Vice-President struck a philosophical note at the conclusion of his interview with Hannity. �Look, I had a good run,� he said. �I got to bomb Afghanistan, and I got to do it to Iraq�twice. But to see someone finally get to bomb Syria and it�s not me? I�d be lying if I said that didn�t hurt like hell.�

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+36 # Willman 2013-04-01 18:52

No different than the repubs banning the knowledge of fracking fluids. or the clean water act or GMO's in the food chain.

+14 # L. Sabransky 2013-04-02 01:32

Great article. I have read this info. Many times in various places, but this makes it clear & easy to remember. I am saving to refer to and so should others! In my state, we are being forced to enact a conceal/carry law. I have been on many posts arguing with others over this. Often, I am the lone voice invoking facts and reason, such as what Ms. Edelman provides.

It gets a little frustrating telling folks that we are in the majority when it's not so evident in social media, or to our elected officials. I spoke with my state senator who believes in greater regulations - she was practically begging me to get others to make calls to their reps.

So, to the majority: please make the effort to be as loud and louder than the few who are tools of the NRA. One if them told me recently that "30,000 deaths a year really isn't a lot." I told him his desensitization to violence is pathological & he should seek professional help... If you don't speak up NOW, and until we win on this, you let others like the guy above speak for you.

+6 # RMDC 2013-04-02 05:04

Thanks, this is good and informative. There is a very long list of subject that the right wing has suppressed good science on. Global climate change is a main one. Cancer in another. AIDS is huge. Alternative energy is there. The mental effects of war is at the top.

In the novel 1984, one of the slogans of Engcoc is "Ignorance is Strength." Nothing could be more true about the US. The first technique of thought control is the destruction of history and science. THat's the mission of the corporate parties (both reps and dems) in the US.

This article ends at the right place. People must educate themselves. Use their common sense. Do their own research. They cannot generally rely on the knowledge industries (often in universities) that are supported by government and corporate funding. They won't fund research that might produce knowledge that runs against their "strength."

I make it a habit to check the funders of any "research" I read. Often it is quite revealing. There are many huge foundations that support the production of false knowledge. After a while, you can spot them pretty easily.

+7 # dick 2013-04-02 05:24

Senate Democrats need to look at Connecticut proposals & find the courage to take on the NRA, & Wall St. Elizabeth Warren, where are you & the lady Democrats? FORCE Reid-Obama to follow YOU.

-7 # RLF 2013-04-02 05:56

Blaming guns alone and not the society that makes the military heroes or the gangstahs that get glorified in popular music, or military video games created just to desensitize children to killing, is just simple minded. A lot of parents that allow this nonsense to continue are a big part of the problem. A population that has been driven to the edge of revolution by unresponsive government puts a whole lot of blame on the politicians. When the left starts shooting is when we really need to start worrying.

+2 # indian weaver 2013-04-02 08:05

When the Left starts shooting is when we really will begin to celebrate.

-12 # switch 2013-04-02 11:15

The NRA does not object to impartial research. It objects to groups like CDC that uses our tax money for 'research' that is predetermined to 'find' for gun control.
30K deaths? 2/3's were suicide. 11K murders? 8K were gang bangers defending their turf. That leaves about 2+K. Still too many but what is the gov doing about it? Attacking gangs?
Background checks have prevented criminals from getting guns? Puhleeze. 2+ million denials? How many were prosecuted for these felonies? about 60. How many convicted? less than 20. Our VP said we do not have the resources to prosecute all these 'paperwork' felonies. So, the answer is to create more felons we cannot prosecute?
This article is so slanted, it is ludicrous.
I'm curious if RSN will allow my comments to show? Are they interested in a dialog or just in lectures?

+4 # Texas Aggie 2013-04-02 17:46

How exactly would you define impartial research if you claim that the CDC is not impartial? Something paid for by the gun manufacturers?

"Are they interested in a dialog or just in lectures?"

Are YOU interested in a dialogue or just harangues?

+4 # Texas Aggie 2013-04-02 17:49

The gun industry/NRA doesn't want research into gun deaths for the same reason that the tobacco industry opposed research into the connection between smoking and cancer and heart attacks. It would cost them money. That people died because of their intransigence is irrelevant as long as they aren't the ones dying.

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