The Hard Life of Dick Cheney

By Charles Pierce, Esquire

02 October 13

amous face-shooting war criminal Dick Cheney has to be very careful where he takes himself and his borrowed heart these days. A fella can't be too careful, doncha know?

"He felt that in Canada the risk of violent protest was simply too high," said Ryan Ruppert, president of promotions company Spectre Live Corp., which had booked Mr. Cheney for an April 24 appearance at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre.

And then there's the hooking, the roughing, and the high-sticking.

"They specifically referenced what happened in Vancouver," Mr, Ruppert added. In September, Mr. Cheney was speaking at a private club in Vancouver when protesters massed outside the front door harassing ticket holders and in one instance, choking a security guard. The former vice-president was reportedly held inside the building for more than seven hours as Vancouver Police in riot gear dispersed the demonstrators.

Held prisoner in a private club for more than seven hours? Horrors. Did the cable go out? Was the Dom insufficiently chilled? Was the human blood they served him the wrong type? I'm sure native Canadian Maher Arar feels his pain.