Silicon Valley Is More Flintstones Than Jetsons When It Comes to Women

By Elena Favilli, Guardian UK

28 February 15

ilicon Valley elites like to think they’re miles ahead of the rest of the world. But when it comes to openness toward women, they are as behind as everyone else.

“We are going backwards in a field that is meant to be all about moving forward”, Hillary Clinton told Silicon Valley in a speech this week. I almost jumped out my chair with joy. They needed to be given that message loud and clear.

Success cannot shield you from sexism. I managed to raise over $600,000 for my start-up in Silicon Valley and yet I’ve found myself in many sexist situations. I’ve been repeatedly told that my idea was “nice but too small”, my attitude “too weak” or “too assertive” and that “two girls alone” (meaning my co-founder and I) could never raise money from Silicon Valley’s investors.

I proved them all wrong, but that required sitting through presentations full of sexist jokes. I’ve been welcomed on stage as “the girl” and have had to grin and bear it when I received compliments about my looks during business meetings. “It’s always a pleasure to be in such beautiful company” one investor told me, with a wink. It’s hard not to feel the glass ceiling above me in those moments. Especially when delivering presentations to male dominated panels or pitching to male dominated venture capital firms.

If it’s a challenge to be a woman in the tech industry, it’s an even bigger challenge to be a woman who speaks up sexism. Every time I do, I find mobs of colleagues ready to tell me that raising money has nothing to do with gender: it is equally hard for women and men. When I point out the staggering numbers that speak of inequality, I’m often accused of “playing the blame game” and hating men.

The truth is that Silicon Valley is permeated by a thick “bro culture” that pushes even the most intelligent women to think and act like frat boys in order to be accepted by the herd. It’s not just the endless Friday night beer pong parties - it’s being forced to ignore what’s happening in front of your eyes.

When Newsweek published their recent cover story “What Silicon Valley thinks of women”, investigating gender discrimination in the American tech industry, one of my female colleagues at 500startups, CEO of a successful company, wrote on Facebook:

“I honestly HATE MEN-BASHING articles like this one! Yes, there’s a gender issue, but articles like this makes women sound so PETTY & HELPLESS. Only makes the situation worse! Newsweek might as well change the title to “Can’t Succeed? Let’s Blame It On Men!”

She’s not the only one to think this way. A good female friend and tech entrepreneur told me recently: “If you succumb to the blame game while you are in the game, you lose”. This attitude just makes it easier for sexists to say, “See? There’s nothing to worry about!”.

But there is.

The dominant culture in tech constantly presents us with a false choice: women must choose between speaking up about sexism and being valued for their talent and work. It has become such a pervasive thought that I’ve repeatedly found myself thinking that I shouldn’t complain too much. Will I lose if I do? I wonder.

Not if I want equality. The best way to achieve a level playing field is to stop pretending everything is fine. I’m glad that Hillary Clinton could speak up about sexism. I just wish it were easier for women inside Silicon Valley to do the same.