Written by RS Janes   

Good: A presidential candidate emerges who, in 2000, publicly said he strongly supported single-payer universal health care, tariffs on imports to prevent outsourcing jobs, and increasing taxes on the wealthy to balance the budget.
Bad: He’s a Republican.
Ugly: He’s Donald Trump.

Good: The voting in your state is all done on paper ballots.
Bad: The recount is conducted by comparing totals from no-paper-trail optical scanners that are easily hacked.
Ugly: All of the election officials are Republicans.

Good: You’re offered a well-paying job with good benefits.
Bad: It’s in Mississippi.
Ugly: Your job is finding roadkill for Haley Barbour’s dinner.

Good: Your husband has decided to get more involved in politics.
Bad: He's running for congress as a conservative Republican.
Ugly: Your husband is Steve Doocy.

Good: Your wife just got a great-paying job.
Bad: She's going to be the new co-host of “Fox and Friends.”
Ugly: After fifteen years of marriage, you just found out she’s a wingnut.

Good: Your 22-year-old daughter just announced she's marrying the man of her dreams.
Bad: He's old enough to be her grandfather.
Ugly: He's Mitch McConnell.

Good: Your 21-year-old son's new book is about to be published.
Bad: It's a biography of George W. Bush.
Ugly: He's started talking like him.

Good: Your wife buys a new hat for her birthday.
Bad: It has teabags hanging off the brim.
Ugly: They've all been used.

Good: Emails prove conclusively that Bush, Cheney, Rove, et al, committed high crimes while in office.
Bad: Holder's Justice Department refuses to prosecute them.
Ugly: Obama excuses them by saying, "Anyone can make a mistake."

Good: You laugh at an Andy Borowitz satire about Glenn Beck 'editing' and releasing an 'abridged' version of "1984" wherein Big Brother's name is replaced by Obama's.
Bad: Turns out it's not an Andy Borowitz satire.
Ugly: The MSM quote from the book as if it were George Orwell's original version.

Good: Your daughter just got a new job.
Bad: She's working for Bill O'Reilly.
Ugly: She just bought a case of loofahs.

Good: Your son just got a new job.
Bad: He's working for FreedomWorks.
Ugly: Dick Armey calls him his 'butt boy.'

Good: After many months searching for a teaching job, you just got a tenured position at a university.
Bad: You're teaching 'Creation Science.'
Ugly: At Messiah College.

Good: The ideas of Tom Paine are being discussed on TV.
Bad: By Glenn Beck on Fox News.
Ugly: Beck has made liberal agnostic Paine into a far-right Christopublican fanatic just like himself.

Good: Your son has been signed to star in a major motion picture.
Bad: It's "The Life of Rush Limbaugh."
Ugly: He was hired due to his strong resemblance to the protagonist.

Good: You've accepted a $50,000 speaking gig.
Bad: At the next CPAC convention.
Ugly: Your topic is "The Genius of Sarah Palin."

Good: You're not feeling well and your friend says he will find you a good doctor.
Bad: You're flat broke.
Ugly: Your friend is Paul Ryan.

© 2009-2011 RS Janes.
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