RSN Fundraising Banner
FB Share
Email This Page
add comment

writing for godot

The president is on the phone--he wants to know if he can have his Wall now

Written by Carl Peterson   
Monday, 09 April 2018 05:32


Sir, did you hear me? The president is on the phone.

So what?

The Parallel President was prone on the sanding table, having his dorsal spines reduced, and he didn't like to be interrupted during the process.  At first he had dreaded it, but concomitant to his repeated policy successes in 2017, his spines had begun to grow faster than ever before.  Instead of a couple times a year, now they needed to be sanded every month, as they protruded through the human casing his engineers had constructed for him 15 years before.  That was one thing his engineers couldn't figure out--how to stop the spines from growing.  For years he had hated them, but as they burgeoned with the achievements of his long-held objectives, the Parallel President began to identify them with his successes and his own undeniable immanent powers.  He had begun to look forward to the sanding procedure, and anticipated it like a nice massage.  Now the idiot was stumbling even into this.

The president says he would like to have his Wall now.  He says you promised.

Put him on hold, Percy.  Come in here.

Yes sir.

When you go back on the line remind him that the deal was Gorsuch, the repeal of Obamacare, plus tax reform, plus the complete rollback of harmful regulations.  Gorsuch fine.  Remind the president he didn't get rid of Obamacare, the tax reform was Ok, not quite what we wanted, we still have some death tax for example, and regulatory roll back is going way too slow.  Ask him what he has done for us lately.

Yes sir.

Minutes passed.  The spines were almost flush now.  The Parallel President fell into a pleasant sleep on the sanding table as the sanding technician switched to a finer grit to avoid scarring the Parallel President's outer casing.

Sir? Percy re-entered the sanding room.  Sir? He was afraid to wake the boss.  Sir?

Yes, Percy?

The president says you promised and he did the best he could with that lousy Congress you gave him.  He says he's fired a lot people and he doesn't want to have to fire Marc Short and Scott Pruitt.

The Parallel President could feel his spines shift in a sudden spurt of re-growth.  Goddamn it Percy. Goddamn it.  Tell that idiot I'll try to get him his Wall, but he is not going to fire Marc Short! your social media marketing partner
Email This Page


THE NEW STREAMLINED RSN LOGIN PROCESS: Register once, then login and you are ready to comment. All you need is a Username and a Password of your choosing and you are free to comment whenever you like! Welcome to the Reader Supported News community.