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Declaration of Independence

In Indian Wells, California

the unanimous Declaration of Certain Billionaires

July 4th 2011

When in the Course of Billionaire Events it becomes necessary for Certain Billionaires to dissolve the political bands that have connected them to other people and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and Higher Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of Other Billionaires who also chafe at the shackles placed upon them by the Government of the country where they were born, nurtured and grew Fantastically Wealthy, requires that they should declare to Certain Other Billionaires the causes that impel them to surreptitiously undermine the American Democracy--surreptitiously that is until it is too late for anyone to do anything about it.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that Certain Billionaires vexed at government trammeling of their Liberties were created better than other people, otherwise how did they get their Billions despite being vexed by government trammeling of their Liberties?  That they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.  Despite being Created as lesser beings than Certain Billionaires, Other People also have unalienable Rights to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.  Good luck with that!

That to secure these Rights, Cabals are instituted among Certain Billionaires who derive their just powers from their aggrieved refusal to allow their Liberties to be constrained by any Government, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of Certain Billionaires to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness, which, let's face it, will probably have to be an unchecked Plutocracy.  Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that Billionaires in the Past were more disposed to suffer, while evils were sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they were accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Certain Billionaires; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former System of Government. The history of the present Government of the United States is a history of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over the Billionaire Class.  To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world:

The Government, supposedly to help those in need, has taken, in the Form of Unjust Taxation, from the Producers, (Certain Billionaires) to give to the Looters (the Unproductive Masses), who need such assistance only because of their own Moral Failings.

The Government, supposedly to help those in need, has mandated health care reform, inevitably supported by Unjust Taxation of the Billionaire Class, an infringement upon their Liberty not to have their money stolen to help others.  In instituting such health care reform, the Government has also deprived the Unproductive Masses of the opportunity to Live Freely in Their Own Liberty, strengthening themselves as they Seek to secure health care through their own Free and Untrammeled endeavors.

The Government, supposedly to help those in need, has imposed upon the Billionaire Class Harsh, Tyrannical programs to assist widows, orphans, the elderly, the retired, the infirm, the sick, the physically disabled, the psychologically disabled, and who knows what other Untouchables among the clamoring Masses of the Unproductive.  Certain Billionaires know that such Unjust programs are twice-cursed: Cursed are Certain Billionaires whose money the Government steals to support such programs, and Cursed are the Clamoring Masses who by such programs are deprived of their Liberty to face Life Unassisted and under their own Free Power.

The Cult of the Omnipotent State, in Tyrannical Overreach, and under the guise of "protecting the environment" has passed Laws to Trammel Free Economic Interaction with the environment.  Such laws have resulted in Unjust Fines and other Penalties upon Certain Billionaires in Traducement of the Liberty secured to Certain Billionaires by Nature's God, not by the Omnipotent State.

The Government, in Tyrannical interference with Free Economic Interaction with the environment, has repeatedly fined Certain Billionaires for engaging in activities approved by Nature's God: including a $20M fine for alleged concealment of the discharge of 90 metric tons of benzene, a so-called "known carcinogen"; a $30M fine for allegedly attempting to conceal the leakage of millions of gallons of oil in six different states; and then there was that thing about stealing oil from Native Americans.

The Government, in Tyrannical interference with Certain Billionaires' Liberty to conduct their businesses as they see fit, allowed a wrongful death lawsuit to be filed against Certain Billionaires regarding two people who were burned to death.   After butane gas allegedly leaking from the Billionaires' pipeline was ignited by the ignition of the pickup truck the two people were travelling in, a civil court of the Tyrannical government provided a forum for a jury to find that the company owned by Certain Billionaires was guilty of negligence and malice, and to impose a Tyrannical fine of $269M.

The Government's Tyranny has set aside so-called National Parks so that the Clamoring Mass of Looters can enjoy nature on the Billionaire Class's Dime.  Such Oppression of the Billionaire Class prevents proper Economic Interaction between innovative and entrepreneurial Producers and public lands that should belong to all, especially to the Productive Class that knows how to put nature to good use.

The catalog of the Government's Offenses is too thick, and Massive, for us to open to every page here, but it is sufficient to say that at every stage of the Government's Oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most Humble terms.  Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury.  A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of Free Billionaires.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to the Government. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our Extreme Wealth.  We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the Plutocracy, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of Extremely Wealthy People, solemnly publish and declare, That we United Billionaires are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Tyrannical Government unless it is We in the Catbird Seat, that we are Absolved from all Allegiance to the United States of America, and that all Plutocratic loyalty to the United States, is and ought to be totally dissolved until the Plutocracy establishes total domination over the United States of America, and that as Free and Independent Billionaires, we have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, (not our Fortunes) and our sacred Honor such as it is.

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