Instead of, or in addition to having happiness, we can BE OUR OWN HAPPINESS, by being truly alive. What is TAKEN for ALIVENESS today is, too often, numbness! So many people today need distractions to fill up what is an ABYSS of loneliness, emptiness. Of course, many will deny this abyss, but even the denials ooze emotional defensiveness.

For instance, I spent most of my life denying that I was unhappy. Throughout the various growth stages, youth to senior citizen, I lived mostly abstractly, intellectually, etc. I feared relationships, so I "FAUX LIVED". First, even at about 10 years of age, I chose to "raid" my parent's liquor cabinet whenever I could. (I replaced the liquor I drank with water and my father never suspected this but always accused bars and restaurants of diluting their liquor supplies, probably as a direct result of my diluting his home liquor "supply".)

Then I substituted promiscuous PERFORMANCES, alcohol and recreational drugs like pot, hashish, speed, etc., for relationship EXPERIENCES. I began "LIVING" in, and through, books. I had an academic, FAUX "EXISTENCE". I had only the APPEARANCE of existence. Instead of even HAVING any life to speak of, my life HAD me! My life before now could be an example of what Lord Byron wrote: "Appearances tyrannize over truth and are Lords of Happiness!" I substituted APPEARANCES for INTIMACY.

I finally realized that I was exponentially exaggerating what were mere "quality of life" issues. I was mistaking these "quality of life" issues for life and death issues. Now I know the difference between "quality of life" issues and life or death issues. Most importantly, I can now laugh at what I used to take so seriously!