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writing for godot

HUNKA HUNKA BURNING HUCKABEE

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Written by Diane Straub   
Sunday, 26 January 2014 06:31
Should we really be taken aback anymore by the incredibly stupid, foot in mouth utterances by GOP men concerning the lives, loves, and circumstances of women?

Mike Huckabee, former Arkansas governor, perennial presidential aspirant and current Fox darling uttered yet more Neanderthalian comments about women. In public. Meant to be heard and disseminated. Not an accident. Not a secret tape from a GOP "social event." Nope. He thinks what he said is profound.

Apparently, we women just gotta have it if you dangle birth control in front of our faces. We're like stampeding elephants, at an all-peanut buffet. We're like bears emerging from hibernation raiding a honey stand. We are Cookie Monsters but instead of losing control for cookies, we lose it for nookie.
As a gender, we are a 24/7 bachelor party. Oh, whatever will we do to claim our salvation?

"If Democrats want to insult the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of government, then so be it," Huckabee said. (abcnews)

I had an Uncle Sugar once, but he was tragically killed when a giant ostrich knocked him off his 8 inch platform shoes in front of a purple Cadillac to retrieve the feather from his hat. Apparently, his ghost is doing pretty well, running this here U.S. of A. Uncle Sugar is Uncle Sam's evil twin, turning this country into a giant brothel.

Thank God and Gaia and Baal that we have strong Republican male leaders doing their Biblical-best to save us gals from the sordid temptations of the flesh. Guys like Bob Packwood, Newt Gingrich, David Vitter, Clarence Thomas, Larry Craig, Mark Sanford...but those fellas peccadilloes are nothing the GOP allows their man diapers to get into a bunch over. They just get a fresh change, pack their favorite slightly used Can of Coke and hike up the daunting Appalachian Trail to try to understand our out-of-control lady parts. They can help. I don't want to let the cat out of the bag but these gallant warriors are going to war for us poor horny gals.

"The Republicans don't have a war on women, they have a war for women … for them to be empowered to be something other than victims of their gender," Huckabee said.

"Democrats think that women are nothing more than helpless and hopeless creatures whose only goal in life is to have government provide for them birth control medication," he added." (abcnews)

Thank The Lord I won't have to be a victim of my gender anymore. These fine specimens of GOP manhood are going to save me from popping birth control pills like Gummy Bears and instead make sure I pop out babies like a broken Pez dispenser. Oh thank god they are looking out for me!

The republican "War for Women" includes such highlights as rape insurance and forced trans-vaginal ultrasounds. Don't forget being forced to carry your rapist's baby, and not getting equal pay for equal work. Throw in all the defunding of sources for women's health and restricting access to those same venues.

Then, there's the idea that we should pay more for health insurance because we have more "parts" to malfunction. Stigmatize single mothers by allowing them to be called "Sperm Receptacles" by one of their bloviating talking heads. Allow that same bloviator to call our daughters and other young women "sluts" for fighting for their reproductive rights and health.

In Texas, the "War for Women" is highlighted by a hospital trying to force a family to keep their brain-dead loved one on life support to incubate an early stage pregnancy against their wishes.

What's the next battle in this benevolent Republican "War for Women" led by General Huckabee? Maybe cut WIC benefits that help feed all the babies that they will do anything to see conceived and born? Maybe cut the unemployment benefits that are life and death survival to the families that they say they value over all else in this world? What's that you say? They already fought and won those battles?

Can any of us imagine what battle comes next? If you are a woman voting GOP, you are turning on your own troops. Think about it. Shouldn't a "War for Women" include battles that protect our rights and freedoms?

http://abcnews.go.com/m/blogEntry?id=21642629&ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F

http://www.alternet.org/story/140933/rating_the_greatest_gop_sex_scandals_of_the_past_20_years
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