Written by Mickey Grant   

I understand that one of the new Republican budget proposals being whispered about in Washington behind closed doors is one where a citizen over 65 can simply opt out of life. All of this is to be done at their doctors office and takes 30 days to process. The immediate family gets a 10K survivors bonus upon the pain free death of their loved one. Even the death will be cost effective as they plan on utilizing area dog pound facilities unless the citizen makes a "ash request." If that is made then the survivors only get 9K and likely won't speak as highly of the deceased. Party officials say this will save the country over 1 trillion dollars if 80% of American citizens take this option and die at 65 plus the economic stimulus will create many new jobs in the funeral industry! Potentially this will have a positive effect on Green House gases as these millions of former "live" citizens will not be driving cars or using electricity from coal burning plants. There is said to be much bi-partisan support of this as so many Democratic law makers have secretly joined the Republican Party. Currently there is a top secret study being done to determine how this would affect the makeup of current Congressional districts. So far it appears to favor the Republicans as more Democrats in the study have become so demoralized with the potential of Bachmann being president that they have indicated that they were already willing to take the "Grand Op Out of Life" Medicare Choice. Bachmann aides who do not want their names revealed have indicated that they even support giving the hundreds of millions of older Democrats who choose this death option a posthumous Presidential medal.