To Lovers of Freedom Everywhere

Written by mashiguo

Thursday, 30 May 2019 10:55

Let it be known that on this day, May 30, 2019, it has been reported that our illustrious and dearly beloved leader President Donald Trump has declared methane to be "freedom gas".

Never mind that methane is orders of magnitude more potent than carbon dioxide as a greenhouse gas, this is yet another example of Trump playing zero dimensional tic-tac-toe while the rest of the world plays chess.

The most abundant source of methane, as those in the know already know, is flatulence! Hence, if you are gluten intolerant? - or lactose intolerant? no worries! you are now in the vanguard of freedom fighters worldwide!! Intolerate to your heart's content, you are spreading freedom anywhere and everywhere in every instant that you cry out in reverse! Quite literally, yours is the battle cry of freedom.

And the beauty of Trump's declaration is the lives it will save. We no longer need to send thousands of troops into harm's way at the cost of trillions of dollars and millions of lives. In their place we can send endless supplies of humane beans to encourage the locals to liberate themselves!

Oh how I wish I had a mind like Trump's and could see forward to such a profound and insightful solution to multiple universal problems. No more embarrassment, no more waiting for the trumpets to come in, no more having to excuse one's self from the dinner table, no more holding of breath, now everyone can participate with pride and joy in the act of smothering the entire world in the sweet sweet scent of freedom. Loudly let the Trump's bray, sounding the battle cry of freedom! Let loose and let your freedom molecules diffuse and invade at will. For once, and maybe for the only time in the history of the universe, entropy is now on the good guy's side.

JComments

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