Borowitz writes: "In his most scathing assignment of blame to date, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis blasted the other forty-nine states for conspiring to make his own look bad."
Florida governor Ron DeSantis. (photo: Joe Raedle/Getty)
DeSantis Blasts Other Forty-Nine States for Making Florida Look Bad
06 August 21
The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."
n his most scathing assignment of blame to date, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis blasted the other forty-nine states for conspiring to make his own look bad.
�Our COVID numbers wouldn�t seem so terrible if other states� numbers weren�t better,� he said. �You don�t have to be a detective to figure out who stands to benefit from this scenario.�
�Nice try, other forty-nine states,� he bellowed. �I�m onto you!�
DeSantis�s remarks drew a strong rebuke from a fellow Republican governor, Greg Abbott of Texas.
�If you look at our COVID numbers, you�ll find that Texas has been doing everything in our power to make Florida look good,� he said. �Ron DeSantis�s comments are very hurtful.�
Immediately following Abbott�s statement, DeSantis issued a heartfelt apology. �I appreciate everything Texas has done to make Florida look good,� he said. �But the other forty-eight states still suck.�
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