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Borowitz writes: "Furious at Representative Liz Cheney and Representative Adam Kinzinger for participating in the January 6th commission, the G.O.P. leadership in the House is punishing the two rogue Republicans by forcing them to spend an hour with Ted Cruz."

Ted Cruz. (photo: Getty Images)
Ted Cruz. (photo: Getty Images)


GOP to Punish Cheney and Kinzinger by Forcing Them to Spend Hour With Ted Cruz

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

27 July 21

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


urious at Representative Liz Cheney and Representative Adam Kinzinger for participating in the January 6th commission, the G.O.P. leadership in the House is punishing the two rogue Republicans by forcing them to spend an hour with Ted Cruz.

Speaking to reporters, the House Minority Leader, Kevin McCarthy, said that the decision to subject the two dissidents to an hour with Cruz “should leave no doubt about how seriously we take their offense.”

“Make no mistake,” he said, “an hour with Ted Cruz is the ultimate punishment.”

According to McCarthy, Cheney and Kinzinger will be locked in a room with Cruz, who will then speak, uninterrupted, for an hour on a topic of his choosing.

“Ten minutes in, they’ll come to regret what they’ve done,” McCarthy predicted. “No one has lasted fifteen.”

McCarthy’s decision to subject the two Republicans to an hour of Cruz drew a strong rebuke from Representative Cheney’s father, the former Vice-President Dick Cheney. “Much as I have been a longtime supporter of torture, this goes too far,” he said.

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