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Pierce writes: "It is not getting any more dignified out in Arizona."

Trump rally. (photo: Jason Armond/Getty Images)
Trump rally. (photo: Jason Armond/Getty Images)


The Cyber Ninjas Have Called in Men With Badges to Protect Them From Antifa

By Charles Pierce, Esquire

03 May 21


It is not getting any more dignified out in Arizona.

t the end of Time Bandits, Terry Gilliam’s underrated classic, a bit of leftover concentrated evil, disguised as an overdone Sunday roast left in a toaster oven, explodes, taking out the parents of Kevin, the movie’s young hero. You have to be very careful not to leave hunks of fleshy concentrated evil behind.

But enough about Louis DeJoy.

Camp Runamuck’s legacy to the United States Postal Service, which is now and always will be one of the crown jewels of this constitutional republic, ought to be reaching the end of his campaign of calculated vandalism. The Homeland Security & Governmental Affairs Committee on Friday voted to advance three of the president’s nominees to the Postal Service’s board. This would establish a Democratic majority on the board, a development that Democrats and the postal workers union have long sought with the assumption that a Democratic majority would dispense with Postmaster DeJoy.

Not so fast, says Bloomberg.

Both incumbent Democratic board members including Chairman Ron Bloom have expressed support for DeJoy, whose restructuring of the service has drawn widespread criticism. Bloom in February told House lawmakers that “the board of governors believes that the Postmaster General in very difficult circumstances is doing a good job.” He told The Atlantic magazine for an article published April 21 that DeJoy “earned my support.” It would be a stunning turnabout for a former Trump donor whose replacement was urged in a letter last month signed by 50 lawmakers, and had been accused of letting service slow during an election that drew a surge in mail-in voting.

As recently as this past week, DeJoy was beefing about the USPS in an intemperate tantrum of a response to criticism of his stewardship of the service. If he somehow survives in his position—and, it should be noted, as a member of this president’s cabinet—there is going to be hell to pay in several quarters of the government.

You didn’t think we were going to go a day without checking on the Cyber Ninjas out in Arizona, did you? It appears that things are getting a little testy in and around the ongoing farce. Men With Badges, who are not police, have appeared. Check out the video from CNN. And the other day, a judge ruled that the Cyber Ninjas had to release the details of what in the hell they’re doing with 2.1 million ballots that they got their Cyber Ninja mitts on. On Friday, the documents were released and, in the immortal words of Little Richard, “Oooh, my soul!” Somebody get the net. From NBC News:

The documents offer a detailed look at the conspiratorial thinking behind an extraordinary partisan hunt for fraud some six months after former President Donald Trump lost the election and began pushing the lie that it was stolen from him.

After Ducey declined to provide National Guard resources, the companies then prepared their own security plan and threat assessment, outlining potential threats to the recount that included Antifa, a network of loosely organized radical groups frequently blamed by Trump allies for violence despite little evidence. In an “extreme threat scenario,” the assessment suggests that a coordinated attack involving a chemical fire and disrupted traffic could allow the recount facility to be breached. “Antifa will likely use the backed-up traffic in those six lanes to slow police and fire response to any permitter breach operation,” the assessment says, adding that this could lead to “nearly unmitigated access” to the facility.

Personally, given the choice between this festival of fools and the Crazy Times Carnival next door, I think Antifa’s probably over riding the Tilt-A-Whirl. At least there’s cotton candy and fried dough.

Weekly WWOZ Pick To Click: “If You’re a Viper” (Fats Waller): Yeah, I pretty much still love New Orleans.

Weekly Visit To The Pathe Archives: This week was Duke Ellington’s 121st birthday. (He and Willie Nelson share April 29.) Here’s the Duke from 1933. One of the only stories my father told about World War II that made him smile was about the time his ship tied up in the Brooklyn Navy Yard and he and some shipmates went uptown to hear the Ellington band. They all went to Ebbets Field the next day to see Preacher Roe on the mound. Must’ve been a helluva weekend. History is so cool.

One of the pet topics around the shebeen has been the ever-increasing likelihood that at least some of the world’s next wars are going to be fought not over oil, but over water. A steadily heating planet is beating the hell out of aquifers all over the world. This week, a dispute over a water source set off fighting between Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan. From the BBC:

The fighting has focused on water facilities in territory claimed by both Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan. Like many parts of Central Asia, the border between the two countries has been a focus of tension for the past 30 years. Before that, it mattered little which bit of territory belonged to whom as people could move freely between Soviet Republics. But the collapse of the USSR generated hard borders - and potential violence. The meandering boundary between Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan is particularly tense as over a third of its 1,000-km (600-mile) length is disputed. Restrictions on access to land and water that communities regard as theirs have often led to deadly clashes in the past. The latest fighting was the heaviest in years and has raised fears of a wider conflict between two impoverished neighbours.

Back in the day, we used to call these “brushfire wars,” and a lot of them were simple proxy conflicts with roots in the Cold War. Once the Soviet bloc came apart, long-suppressed ethnic slaughter broke out in Europe. Then came what we’re living through now, resource wars, nations fighting over whatever comes into short supply, and millions fleeing to escape the conflicts, and to find what no longer is theirs. If you’re wondering why the Pentagon considers the climate crisis a national-security threat, look, at the moment, to Central Asia.

The Prime Minister of America has another bit of business he’d like to discuss. From the Washington Post:

Manchin, a key swing vote in the closely divided Senate, said he believed a constitutional amendment, rather than legislation, would be required to admit D.C. as a state. His stance deals a major blow to statehood advocates who were hoping for his support after the bill passed the House last week. Manchin cited findings from the Justice Department under Presidents Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter and comments from then-Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy in reaching his decision.

And thus does the fate of constitutional government depend on all of us carefully monitoring Hoppy Kercheval’s radio program.

Is it a good day for dinosaur news, Science Times? It’s always a good day for dinosaur news!

A duckbilled dinosaur species was recently discovered in Japan which rewrites what has been known about how the so-called hadrosaurs spread all over the world. According to a Mail Online report, it was previously believed that hadrosaurs, known for their broad, flat snouts, wandered from North America to Asia before they went extinct 66 million years ago.However, the fossilized remains of the Yamatosaurus izanagii, a never-before-seen species reveals the route was actually the opposite…

According to the co-author of the study, Dr. Anthony Fiorillo from Southern Methodist University in the United States, he believes that dinosaurs in Asia possibly spread to the Americas through the Bering Land Bridge. This report also specified that the dinosaur is the second new species of hadrosaur discovered in Japan, which was attached to mainland Asia, during the dinosaur era.

You can never take what you know about them for granted. They’ve been extinct for 70 million years, but they still have surprises up their (metaphorical) sleeves, and that’s why they lived then to make us happy now.

Happy Arbor Day to all my friends in Nebraska, where they aren’t building the Keystone XL pipeline. Arbor Day, after all, was invented there by a newspaperman named J. Sterling Morton. Go plant a tree. You’ll feel better about the world.

I’ll be back on Monday with whatever happens to Rudy Giuliani over the weekend. Be well and play nice, ya bastids. Stay above the snake-line, wear the damn mask, and take the damn shots.

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