Trump Blasts Milley: "This Is Not the Military I Avoided Serving In"

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

13 June 20

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

n a series of angry tweets on Thursday, Donald J. Trump lashed out at the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Mark Milley, declaring, “This is not the military I avoided serving in.”

Calling Milley’s apology for appearing in last week’s controversial church photo op “a disgrace,” Trump said, “The United States military of my youth was known for courage and valor, which is why I got a podiatrist’s note to get out of being a part of it.”

Recalling that episode from a half century ago, Trump said, “As I watched my podiatrist dictate that note, I thought about the great institution of the U.S. military, which I would be exempted from participating in. That institution is unrecognizable today.”

With his apology, Trump claimed, “Mark Milley has besmirched the memories of all the Americans who fought so hard to avoid fighting.”

In his most caustic broadside against Milley, Trump questioned the general’s ability to lead U.S. forces and said that he might have to find “someone else” to launch the American invasion of Seattle.