Borowitz writes: "Announcing that he was putting the nation on a 'double-red threat level,' Donald J. Trump warned the American people on Tuesday to be on the lookout for terrorists posing as peaceful seventy-five-year-olds."
Donald Trump. (photo: Getty)
Trump Puts Nation on Alert for Terrorists Posing as Peaceful Seventy-Five-Year-Olds
10 June 20
The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report." 
nnouncing that he was putting the nation on a “double-red threat level,” Donald J. Trump warned the American people on Tuesday to be on the lookout for terrorists posing as peaceful seventy-five-year-olds.
“One of these terrorists was already identified by the police in Buffalo,” Trump said. “They may be coming to your town next.”
Trump listed some “telltale signs of Antifa,” in order to help Americans identify septuagenarian terrorists in their midst.
“If the person appears to be seventy-five or older, with white hair and a peaceful demeanor, call the authorities immediately,” Trump said.
He warned that Antifa terrorists are infiltrating American society “everywhere,” even on Zoom.
“If you are on Zoom with your family and an elderly person suddenly appears with a friendly smile, a string of pearls, and the nickname ‘Grandma,’ you have been attacked by Antifa,” he said.
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