Keillor writes: "The beauty of Brexit for an American is that it gives us a glance at the debate in the House of Commons, an actual spirited debate, something unknown in our Congress."
Garrison Keillor. (photo: MPR)
16 September 19
he beauty of Brexit for an American is that it gives us a glance at the debate in the House of Commons, an actual spirited debate, something unknown in our Congress, Conservative and Labor facing each other, two sword lengths apart, speaking in bursts of argument and rebuttal, no lengthy droning allowed, members free to jeer and laugh, the Honorable Speaker of the House John Bercow crying out, “Order!” which to an American sounds like he is referring to ordure or ordering hors d’oeuvres.
Nancy Pelosi never shouts “Order” in our House because hardly anyone is present. They’re all in their offices, on the phone, raising money. As for the Senate, it is a hospice. And this is why journalists focus on White House twittering. If the Chief Twit tweets, “Boogers on you, dum-dum. Talk to the hand,” it will be front-page for at least half an hour, and we’ll learn that no president in history ever used the “boogers on you” insult. How interesting. This is the current state of our democracy.
No wonder then that our government is unable to do a simple obvious sensible thing such as restore the ban on assault weapons. Men routinely give up their right to carry an AR-15 when they go through security at the airport. The Second Amendment ends at the metal detector. Air travel is crucial to the economy, and the American people won’t fly on a plane with NRA members wearing bandoliers, holding rifles with enormous magazines, carrying Glocks and Berettas. It’s not the result of a Supreme Court decision: it’s called “common sense.”
The majority of Americans would, if they were to see a civilian cross a parking lot with a semi-automatic weapon, think “lunatic” and make a mental note to avoid that shopping center in the future. These weapons are instruments of terror, their only purpose is to fulfill the violent fantasies of weird men. So why are they legal? The regular occurrence of mass shootings in public places is doing an enormous favor for Amazon and other mail-order houses. Thus, Walmart took a small sensible step last week and stopped selling ammunition for assault rifles so that killers who come blasting into the store and run out of ammo can’t restock on the spot, they have to go to Costco.
Public service is a high calling and, for that, you need only look at the stories about law enforcement people who’ve rushed to shooting scenes, run into buildings past scenes of panic, and approached the maniac who was shooting, and, as they say, “neutralized” him. The bravery involved is astonishing. It goes against our normal instinct to seek cover and avoid harm. Instead, the cops go in. Why can’t the empty suits in the Senate find sufficient testosterone to make it hard to own a weapon of mass carnage? It defies analysis.
The NRA has five million members. The Mormon church has six and a half million. If it pays enough money, will the Republicans bring back polygamy? If the Emotional Support Animal Association ponies up the cash, will Congress vote to allow llamas in restaurants? If the American Sunbathing Association fights for nudity as a basic First Amendment right and plunks down $30 million to the RNC, will POTUS come out on the White House drive and appear before the cameras wearing his Make American Naked Again cap? Do you think this POTUS is incapable of such a thing? Really?
It was a popular referendum that got Britain into the Brexit mess and, despite the chaos, they believe that democracy can get them out. It is up to Democrats to restore such faith in this country. The party is in a marathon slog, gradually forcing candidates out who are running on fumes and illusion. The primaries lie ahead. The future of government rests with a couple hundred thousand voters who ticked Republican in 2016 and now, in the privacy of the booth, will admit to the disaster that has ensued and rectify the mistake. It is as obvious as the hair on his head.
(BOOING, JEERING)
SPEAKER: Hors d’oeuvres! Hors d’oeuvres!
Thank you, Mister Speaker. Let us look at the bright side. At least the Senators are not handing out free assault rifles and requiring us all to exercise our rights and carry one. This is a step in the right direction. And I would like deep-fried calamari and hummus with sticks of celery. Thank you very much.
