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Borowitz writes: "The British Ambassador to the United States, Kim Darroch, explained on Monday that he had tried to conceal insulting remarks from Donald Trump by writing his cables in English."

Kim Darroch. (photo: Victor J. Blue/Bloomberg/Getty Images)
Kim Darroch. (photo: Victor J. Blue/Bloomberg/Getty Images)

British Ambassador Concealed Insults From Trump by Writing Messages in English

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

08 July 19


The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

he British Ambassador to the United States, Kim Darroch, explained on Monday that he had tried to conceal insulting remarks from Donald Trump by writing his cables in English.

“I believed that, by writing these messages in English, that would serve the same purpose as encryption,” Darroch said. “The fact that Trump was somehow able to decode them remains deeply mysterious to me.”

Darroch said that, “out of an abundance of caution,” he took further steps to make the cables indecipherable to Trump, deploying multisyllabic words such as “dysfunctional.”

“Clearly, I did not take into account the possibility that one of his aides might read these cables aloud to him and explain what all of the long words meant,” he said. “I was not aware that there was anyone at the White House capable of performing such duties.”

In Washington, Trump appeared not to be taking the insulting cables personally. “The British are just mad at us for taking over their airports in the eighteenth century,” he said.

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+15 # DongiC 2019-07-08 14:21
Trump's knowledge of History is not exactly acute. He promises to double check his facts next time he addresses his base. He says he could have sworn that the British flew the first airplanes in the 18th century but he was sure that jets didm't appear until the 19th century.
+11 # revhen 2019-07-09 07:28
Try "antidisestabli shmentism." It is indeed a real word -- and British.
+4 # DongiC 2019-07-10 09:20
Isn't the spelling "antidisestabli shmentarianism" ? It certainly is a real word but not in Sir Donald's active vocabulary. It has far too many syllables.
+9 # Colleen Clark 2019-07-09 13:24
Poor President Trump. Has trouble understanding basic English. I hope our next president, starting in Jan. 2021 will NOT be similarly handicapped.
+6 # BetaTheta 2019-07-10 12:19
When Trump dreams up new insults, he apparently looks in the mirror each morning and lists his own salient characteristics : low IQ, arrogant, ignorant, unfair, etc. It's called projection.

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