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Borowitz writes: "A British woman quit her job, on Friday, after being forced to spend the better part of a week with Donald J. Trump, the woman has confirmed."

Theresa May. (photo: Frank Augstein/AP)
Theresa May. (photo: Frank Augstein/AP)

Woman Quits Job After Being Forced to Spend Week With Trump

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

08 June 19


The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

British woman quit her job, on Friday, after being forced to spend the better part of a week with Donald J. Trump, the woman has confirmed.

Speaking to reporters at her office in London, the woman said that, although she had spent years trying to get the job, having to endure several days in the company of Trump convinced her that “life is too short.”

“When I started this job, I knew that a certain amount of my responsibilities would involve dealing with members of the public,” she said. “But had I known that I also would have to spend hours listening to Donald Trump talk, I certainly would have applied for a different position.”

Compounding the woman’s nightmare, she was required to spend time not only with Trump but with his adult children as well. “Having to talk to that Eric person reduced me to tears,” she said.

The woman said that she has been amazed to learn that more than ten people have come forward to say that they would like to be her replacement. “Whoever gets my job should be warned: at some point, you may have to spend a week with Donald Trump,” she said. “Are you really up for that?”

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+13 # futhark 2019-06-08 22:26
Supposing the the Constitution of the United States is not in force in the United Kingdom, there may be no grounds for this woman to claim Mr. Trump violated the Amendment VIII, which prohibits the infliction of cruel and unusual punishment. However, Mr. Trump is under oath to protect and defend, and by implication abide by, the Constitution, so an investigation of circumstances in this case may well be in order.
+4 # revhen 2019-06-09 00:49
You think our country is divided. Consider Britain. Total stalemate re Brexit. May did her best but it wasn't accepted. I doubt if ANYBODY will be able to do it.
+1 # DongiC 2019-06-09 04:53
The French Penal system have considered making their solitary confinement prisoners be forced to watch video tapes of Donald Trump campaign speeches. French courts have threatened to consider that cruel and unusual punishment. [satire]
+7 # Kootenay Coyote 2019-06-09 07:48
‘…forced to spend the better part of a week with Donald J. Trump.…’
Shouldn’t that be ‘the worst part of a week’?
+1 # hectormaria 2019-06-09 08:00
Ms. May's message to Trump should be: "The Lord made us better than we actually are. [By] continuing to lie and to deceive (forgetting/ign oring the 9th Commandment) becomes part of one's defense mechanism, not part of one's true nature: Repent before it is too late."
0 # Rodion Raskolnikov 2019-06-09 08:57
Indeed, life is too short to spend time with Trump. Nonetheless, it is good to see May gone. Maybe she will find some place where no news of Trump can penetrate.

The media in the UK and US is now blacking out stories of the Labour party and Jeremy Corbyn. It is rigging the elections so that another conservative can replace Trump. If that happens, Trump will be enticed to travel to London again to meet the new PM. He won't go to see Corbyn.
0 # Salus Populi 2019-06-09 18:13
I think you meant "can replace May." I don't think anyone in the world is capable of replacing Trump, no matter how narcissistic, pathological, sociopathic, petty, vicious, ignorant, and insecure they might be. He is _sui generis_; and thank the Higher Power for that.
-1 # revhen 2019-06-09 18:43
"Replace Trump?" I fear you just reveled your level of intelligence and knowledge. It's May that will be replaced. Stupidity wins again!
0 # BetaTheta 2019-06-09 19:28
Good reason to vote Labour. Automatic Trump repellent.
0 # bardphile 2019-06-09 22:42's Mrs.May? Whew! I thought maybe the queen had abdicated.

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