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Borowitz writes: "The Alabama Senate voted on Tuesday to approve a measure that would virtually eliminate tourism to Alabama."

Protesters gathered outside the Alabama state house as senators approved a measure on Tuesday that would ban almost all abortions in the state. The measure, later signed by the governor, was created in hopes of challenging the precedent set by Roe v. Wade. (photo: Mickey Welsh/AP)
Protesters gathered outside the Alabama state house as senators approved a measure on Tuesday that would ban almost all abortions in the state. The measure, later signed by the governor, was created in hopes of challenging the precedent set by Roe v. Wade. (photo: Mickey Welsh/AP)


Alabama Senate Votes to Virtually Eliminate Tourism to Alabama

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

17 May 19

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


he Alabama Senate voted on Tuesday to approve a measure that would virtually eliminate tourism to Alabama.

Greg Reed, the Senate Majority Leader, said that, if signed into law, the measure would achieve his fellow Republican senators’ long-standing goal of making tourism to Alabama “so rare as to be essentially nonexistent.”

“This is a great day for everyone in the state of Alabama who has worked so hard to wipe out the evil scourge of tourism,” he said.

The bill now goes to the desk of Governor Kay Ivey, who has been aggressively urged to sign it by anti-tourism activists.

“If Governor Ivey does the right thing and signs the bill, Alabama could start losing billions of dollars right away,” Reed said. “This will be the best thing to keep people from visiting Alabama since Roy Moore.”

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+37 # DongiC 2019-05-17 16:56
Alabama is definitely against tourists who may carry the germs of liberalism into its very bloodstream thus contaminating its precious bodily fluids. Governor Kay Ivey strongly concurs and says Alabama must remain pure as an undying testimony to the values of the Old South. She definitely will sign the bill into law.
 
 
+13 # chemtex2611 2019-05-17 22:38
Last in education, last in health. What is there to envy?
 
 
+7 # Rodion Raskolnikov 2019-05-18 05:39
This is a good one. I sure as hell don't want to go to Alabama. Or Georgia, either.

Maybe the solution is for people to just move out of these backward and discriminatory states. Let the republicans have them. There are other places to live where they don't do this.
 
 
+2 # janla 2019-05-20 09:37
Voluntary gerrymandering!
 
 
+7 # Glen 2019-05-18 06:32
It isn't just the South or Alabama. The persecution of women is looming over many states. There is justice for LGBQ citizens but not women. As so many have said before, these lawmakers should pay more attention to the adult women if they want to promote life. Oh, and contraceptives and education. FOR MEN TOO.
 
 
+15 # Texas Aggie 2019-05-18 07:34
Actually the amount of tourism to Alabama is negligible in the first place. After all, why would anyone want to visit, even to see family?

According to the law recently signed by Ivey, the main tradition that is being upheld is the longstanding practice of incest. Now when a girl is impregnated by her brother/father/ cousin/uncle or what have you, the offspring will be free to continue the tradition.

Alabama - 5.08 million people, six last names
 
 
+10 # Rodion Raskolnikov 2019-05-18 10:54
There's a Greek play by Aristophanes called Lysistrata. In it all the women refuse sex with any Greek male as long as the war among Greek states continues (the Peloponnesian War). This idea resurfaced in the Women's Strike for Peace in the 1960s. Maybe now is the time for women in Alabama to strike for their reproductive rights.

Here's the slogan:

No more sex, boys, it is just too risky for us. You may be feeling frisky, but we know it is just too risky.
 
 
-5 # Glen 2019-05-18 13:13
Lets not get carried away, Texas. I personally have family in Alabama and am not averse to visits. A lot of good people live there. It is the church that dominates these decisions to persecute women, not the general populace. What are you going to criticize when Alaska passes their proposed anti-abortion bill?
 

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