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Borowitz writes: "In a hastily called press conference on Thursday evening, Florida Governor Rick Scott accused Democrats of nefariously plotting to undo the Republican Party's highly successful voter-suppression effort."

Rick Scott. (photo: NY Post)
Rick Scott. (photo: NY Post)


Rick Scott Accuses Democrats of Trying to Thwart GOP's Successful Voter Suppression

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

11 November 18

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


n a hastily called press conference on Thursday evening, Florida Governor Rick Scott accused Democrats of nefariously plotting to undo the Republican Party’s highly successful voter-suppression effort.

“As Republicans, we have worked tirelessly to intimidate, discourage, and otherwise disenfranchise millions of Florida voters,” a visibly enraged Scott said. “We are not about to let Democrats swoop in at the last minute and ruin all of that fine work.”

Scott angrily singled out the Broward County and Palm Beach County supervisors for their “rampant enforcement of the right to vote.”

“They are literally finding votes by people we are a hundred per cent sure we had scared away from the voting booths,” he said. “This will not stand.”

The Florida governor said that if Democrats think that they can undermine the Republicans’ arduous and painstaking efforts to suppress votes in Florida, “they better think again.”

“I will not sit idly by while every vote is counted,” Scott said. “This is Florida, goddammit.”

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