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Borowitz writes: "Calling it 'the biggest disappointment of my political career,' Vladimir Putin conceded late Tuesday night that he had lost control of the United States House of Representatives."

Vladimir Putin. (photo: Mikhail Svetlov/Getty)
Vladimir Putin. (photo: Mikhail Svetlov/Getty)

Putin Loses Control of the House

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

08 November 18


The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

alling it “the biggest disappointment of my political career,” Vladimir Putin conceded late Tuesday night that he had lost control of the United States House of Representatives.

Putin made his concession speech from the Kremlin, where he congratulated the Democrats for waging a “tough fight.”

“Maybe if Facebook and Twitter hadn’t banned so many of my fake accounts, the results would have been different,” Putin said. “But I don’t want to make excuses—I threw everything I had at these races, and I lost.”

Putin did, however, have harsh words for Donald Trump, who opted for a fear-mongering closing argument about immigration despite the Russian President’s objections.

“I warned him that that would kill us in the suburbs, and he ignored me,” Putin said. “I hope this teaches him never to disobey my orders again.”

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+56 # DongiC 2018-11-08 16:18
Vladimir Putin, apparently, is thoroughly disgusted with the sheer incompetence of Donald Trump. "And after all that money, we loaned him to build those dorky towers, and all that money we snuck into his campaign chests through the NRA" the Russian president fumed, "He
still can't control the legislature. What a wimp!", Putin growled.
+10 # librarian1984 2018-11-08 21:04
Gee, isn't it weird that RMF and other haranguers who were here for the month before the election have disappeared again?

No, not really.
+4 # harleysch 2018-11-09 00:11
Perhaps Borowitz should have considered an alternate topic: Anti-Russian war party takes the House.
+3 # Robbee 2018-11-09 09:03
Putin Loses Control of the House, Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker, 08 November 18

B R I L L I A N T !
+2 # lfeuille 2018-11-09 18:25
No, obvious and lame! Not one of his better efforts.
+2 # wrknight 2018-11-09 09:15
That'll teach him.
+6 # tclose 2018-11-09 09:49
Very good Coda to the article, DongiC. Andy should hire you.

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