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Borowitz writes: "Californians were baffled on Monday by a series of tweets by Donald J. Trump in which he utterly failed to blame the state's current wildfires on Hillary Clinton."

Hillary Clinton. (photo: Matt Rourke/AP)
Hillary Clinton. (photo: Matt Rourke/AP)


Californians Puzzled by Trump's Failure to Blame Wildfires on Hillary Clinton

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

07 August 18

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


ACRAMENTO, California (The Borowitz Report)—Californians were baffled on Monday by a series of tweets by Donald J. Trump in which he utterly failed to blame the state’s current wildfires on Hillary Clinton.

In interviews with residents up and down the Golden State, Californians agreed with the assessment of Harland Dorrinson, a Modesto native, that Trump’s failure to pin the fires on Clinton was “nothing short of bizarre.”

“When he said that there wasn’t enough water to put out the fires, I naturally assumed he was going to accuse Hillary Clinton of sneaking into California and somehow stealing all of our water,” Dorrinson said. “It was so confusing when he didn’t.”

“I thought that the wildfires would be a perfect opportunity for Trump to accuse Hillary of being anti-water and pro-fire, but he didn’t even mention her,” Tracy Klugian, who lives in San Jose, said. “Maybe he’s really distracted by all this Russia stuff and he’s off his game.”

Carol Foyler, who lives in Monterey, said that Trump’s failure to accuse Hillary Clinton of single-handedly causing the wildfires left her shaken and appalled.

“At a time when many of us in California are suffering from historic wildfires, we look to the President of the United States to blame them on Hillary Clinton,” she said. “And he let us down.”


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+7 # DongiC 2018-08-07 14:45
The unfair and unkind treatment that Donald Trump junior is receiving from the media has obviously affected Donald Trump senior. The president is off his game due to the fake news launched by the press against his innocent and beloved son. The President vows retribution promising to unleash his base.
 
 
+13 # giraffee23 2018-08-07 23:35
Quoting DongiC:
The unfair and unkind treatment that Donald Trump junior is receiving from the media has obviously affected Donald Trump senior. The president is off his game due to the fake news launched by the press against his innocent and beloved son. The President vows retribution promising to unleash his base.

satire???

vote 2018
 
 
+1 # DongiC 2018-08-10 13:18
Yes, to both questions!
 
 
+7 # kgrad 2018-08-08 05:14
...obviously an attempt to write satire? If so, good write!
 
 
-1 # Texas Aggie 2018-08-08 07:04
I assume that this is snark, but you need to put a S/ to make that clear.
 
 
+2 # Glen 2018-08-08 07:07
Hope you are being sarcastic, DongiC.
 
 
+2 # jon 2018-08-08 07:47
You are kidding, right?
 
 
+11 # librarian1984 2018-08-07 17:37
Oh dang, I feel triggered. I was afraid Hillary was announcing her 2020 run.

Sasha Baron Cohen had a bit the other night where he was a clueless liberal talking to an anti-porn conservative. (I never got the guy's name.)

Cohen pretended he'd written an anti-porn book for middle schoolers, and showed it to this guy, but it was very explicit and inappropriate. the guy tried to say so to Cohen and eventually Cohen said he'd been so helpful that he offered the guy co-authorship. The guy says, "Under no circumstances do I give my permission for that. If you do that I will file a lawsuit. If you do that I will be very upset. I feel very triggered. This is the most negative energy I've ever felt."

I thought this was so funny, that this conservative could 'speak the liberal language'. He knew all the phrases.
 
 
+7 # boredlion 2018-08-08 00:05
Of course ! Many of them have studied our best strategies and rhetoric. Some have even studied the writings of Saul Alinsky and other leftist activist authors. Not all of them are as dumb as they look.
Just heartless, boot-licking fascists.
 
 
-6 # Wise woman 2018-08-07 22:27
Andy's back but I think he's off his stride trying to be funny about the wildfires in California.
 
 
+13 # Shirley in Berkeley 2018-08-07 23:12
I am amazed that this Trump revelation has not yet been revealed. He was intending to make this announcement on November 1, but I will make it for him now: Hillary Clinton was actually born in California. Demand to see the birth certificate!
 
 
+20 # futhark 2018-08-07 23:21
I am a Ranch Fire refugee just allowed to return to my home today as it didn't burn and the mandatory evacuation order for my community has been lifted. I'm with Andy Borowitz. Someone must be blamed for the expense and inconvenience to which my neighbors and I have been put this last week. And who would be better at blaming than the Blamer-in-Chief himself, Donald Trump.

C'mon Don, you've got all your beloved national security apparatus at your beck and call. Surely you can find a link between these fires and "Crooked Hillary". If you can't do it, see if your humble slave Alex Jones can determine the real facts the matter. The public has a right to know. You had better be quick about it, too, before more people start pointing their fingers in your direction, as the national cheerleader for more fossil fuel derived energy production.
 
 
+7 # Benign Observer 2018-08-08 21:38
Sorry about your troubles. Good luck to you and your neighbors.
 
 
0 # randrjwr 2018-08-13 08:30
Quoting futhark:
I am a Ranch Fire refugee just allowed to return to my home today as it didn't burn and the mandatory evacuation order for my community has been lifted. I'm with Andy Borowitz. Someone must be blamed for the expense and inconvenience to which my neighbors and I have been put this last week. And who would be better at blaming than the Blamer-in-Chief himself, Donald Trump.

C'mon Don, you've got all your beloved national security apparatus at your beck and call. Surely you can find a link between these fires and "Crooked Hillary". If you can't do it, see if your humble slave Alex Jones can determine the real facts the matter. The public has a right to know. You had better be quick about it, too, before more people start pointing their fingers in your direction, as the national cheerleader for more fossil fuel derived energy production.


I think you've found the key. Trump wants to burn off ALL the forests so that we will not be able to burn wood for energy and must resort to coal and oil. And I am sure that the brilliant Sessions or Pence will find the missing link to Hillary.
 
 
+3 # Rodion Raskolnikov 2018-08-08 06:11
Don't worry California. EricLipps will find someone who blames the fires on Hillary. He's on it now. He will post the news here in a day or so.
 
 
+13 # skylinefirepest 2018-08-08 08:01
I don't know why trump hasn't addressed this issue...I had a fireman friend tell me that clinton was seen flipping cigarette butts out of her limo and hollering "I should have won"! We now have, on a serious note, more fire in California than in it's history and I believe seven lives have been lost...three dozer operators and at least two other firemen. The Endocino fire is over forty four square miles in size.
 
 
+23 # draypoker 2018-08-08 08:36
Emitting carbon from coal and oil in the last 250 years is the reason for the worldwide fires. They can be prevented by a similar period of reducing carbon emissions by using non-carbon energy. Invest in non-carbon energy and close down coal and oil as soon as possible.
 
 
+8 # giraffee23 2018-08-08 12:29
draypoker - if true = we need different EPA secretary. Trump's destruction of EPA regulations that are meant to SAVE the planet, air, water, etc. is WRONG - and probably part of his plot to ruin all that is GOOD in USA ---- ugh

VOTE vote 2018 and beyond. IF taken off voter roles... just re-register
 
 
0 # draypoker 2018-08-13 18:36
This is not a domestic US political problem. It's a need of policy all over the world. We must, all of us, develop energy systems that do not emit CO2. (I am not an American.)

I have helped develop biogas in two countries in Africa.
 
 
+4 # skylinefirepest 2018-08-09 16:39
Ask a forester instead of a politician...th e fires are being caused by people moving into the urban-wildland interface, our fire prevention habits of many years that allowed the fuels to build to very dangerous levels, carelessness or deliberate arson, and finally hot, dry weather. Do a little reading about the Yellowstone fire that burned thousands of acres and people hollered that it would never recover...but it did, with flora and fauna that had not been seen in Yellowstone in decades. We try to control Mother Nature and fail miserably at it.
 
 
-8 # wantrealdemocracy 2018-08-08 09:13
The situation in California is not any laughing matter. Have you seen the strange clouds over your head? Long white clouds coming out of a large plane that looks like commercial air planes but that fly back and forth spraying some chemicals on us. This is geoengineering and it is cutting the sun light and causing the trees to die. A small spark or a blast of some micro wave can cause them to burst into flames.
 

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