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Borowitz writes: "One day before his summit with Donald J. Trump, the North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un, has offered to host peace talks between the United States and Canada."

Kim Jong Un. (photo: Inter-Korean Summit Press Corps/Getty Images)
Kim Jong Un. (photo: Inter-Korean Summit Press Corps/Getty Images)


Kim Jong Un Offers to Host Peace Talks Between United States and Canada

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

12 June 18

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


ne day before his summit with Donald J. Trump, the North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un, has offered to host peace talks between the United States and Canada.

Speaking to reporters at his hotel in Singapore, Kim said that the rising tensions between the North American neighbors were posing an “intolerable threat to world peace.”

In addition to offering to host U.S.-Canada talks in Pyongyang, Kim urged the immediate creation of a demilitarized zone along the border separating the two hostile nations.

“In exchange for Canadian Mounties agreeing to stand down on their side of the border, the United States, in turn, would dismantle its nuclear weapons,” Kim said.

Although stating that “North Korea stands ready and willing to be an honest broker” in peace talks between the two countries, he urged Trump to dial back the “inflammatory rhetoric” that he aimed at Canadians over the weekend.

“Violent language and threats have no place in international diplomacy,” Kim said.


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+47 # Wise woman 2018-06-12 17:33
This is sooooo funny precisely because it's so outrageous and topical. Trump shakes Kim's hand and starts a fight with Trudeau. We will never understand this man so it's best to laugh at him when we can.
 
 
+35 # Rodion Raskolnikov 2018-06-12 18:19
This is amazing. Only Borowitz could see the obvious that has been right in front of us all for days.

Giving up those Mounties will be tough for Trudeau, but if he really wants peace they will have to go.
 
 
+3 # Porfiry 2018-06-13 07:50
All it would take would be to give up the red coats, perhaps for rainbow-colored . Then call them the Rainbow Boys (and Girls). Problem solved!
 
 
+17 # heraldmage 2018-06-13 01:13
Thanks for the laugh, I really needed good one.
Don't forget verifiable dismantling of all nukes on the North American Continent. After all the US has shown it is untrustworthy and constantly breaks its word.
 
 
+14 # Glen 2018-06-13 14:14
Thank you, heraldmage. U.S. citizens have conveniently forgotten how vicious the U.S. is and has been. This government has attacked and killed thousands, supported dictators who have killed thousands, have used nuclear weapons, including THE bomb, bunker busters (that are still killing from radiation illnesses), napalm, agent orange, cluster bombs, white phosphorus and and and...

The U.S. enjoys great profits from the deaths of these thousands, and if Trump continues with the threat to militarize space, you can bet stock prices will zoom and deaths will increase 100 fold.
 
 
+5 # Rodion Raskolnikov 2018-06-13 16:30
herald -- yes, good point. For some reason, the US places its missiles right on the Canadian border -- North Dakota, Wyoming, Alaska. Maybe it is really Canada that the US rulers want to conquer. Trudeau is right to be worried. Kim to the rescue.
 
 
+3 # wrknight 2018-06-13 08:55
What can I say? I'm speechless.
 
 
+15 # hectormaria 2018-06-13 09:07
I used to believe in the theory of 'Intelligent Design' until Trump and his cult followers came along. Now i believe in the 'Chaos Theory', Trump version.
 
 
+5 # wrknight 2018-06-14 16:54
Trump is living proof that there is no intelligent design.
 

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