Trump Makes Pence Watch Him Issue Pardons to See How It's Done

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

02 June 18

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

resident Donald J. Trump made Vice-President Mike Pence watch him issue pardons for several hours to see how it is done, a White House source confirmed.

According to the source, Trump pardoned a number of disgraced political figures and former reality-show cronies for the sole purpose of training Pence in the art of issuing pardons.

After signing pardon after pardon while Pence looked on intently, Trump commanded the Vice-President to sign a “practice pardon” to prove that he “wouldn’t mess anything up,” the source said.

Before trying his hand at issuing a pardon, Pence heaped praise on Trump for the pardoning demonstration he had just given.

“Mr. President, as in everything you do, your mastery of pardoning has been a wonder to behold,” he said. “I pray to God that, if I am ever called upon to issue a pardon, I do it with one-tenth of the skill and grace you have just displayed.”

“Stop sucking up and sign it,” Trump reportedly snapped.