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Borowitz writes: "Speaking to reporters at the Education Department, DeVos said that she was 'deeply concerned' that the N.R.A. was underestimating the danger posed to Pence by 'the savagery of one rogue bear.'"

Vice President Mike Pence. (photo: Brendon Thorne/Getty)
Vice President Mike Pence. (photo: Brendon Thorne/Getty)


NRA Gun Ban During Pence's Speech Leaves Him Vulnerable to Bear Attack, DeVos Warns

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

01 May 18

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


he National Rifle Association’s decision to ban guns during Mike Pence’s speech at its annual meeting in Dallas this week “leaves him totally vulnerable to a bear attack,” the Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos, warned on Monday.

Speaking to reporters at the Education Department, DeVos said that she was “deeply concerned” that the N.R.A. was underestimating the danger posed to Pence by “the savagery of one rogue bear.”

“All it would take is one angry bear to ruin what otherwise promises to be a really nice gun event,” she said.

She added that, after contacting the N.R.A. leadership, she was alarmed to discover that there would be no bear detectors at the entrance to the Dallas venue.

“A bear can simply waltz in there,” she said, shaking her head. “This is madness.”

DeVos urged the gun organization to rethink its plan and insure that every member of the audience for Pence’s speech is fully armed.

“If there are no guns, that is sending a very dangerous message to bears,” she said.


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