Borowitz writes: "Vice-President Mike Pence has requested that Jesus Christ rapture him up before the special counsel Robert Mueller can indict him, a source close to Pence confirmed on Friday."
Mike Pence. (photo: Andrew Harrer/Bloomberg/Getty Images)
10 December 17
The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report." 
ice-President Mike Pence has requested that Jesus Christ rapture him up before the special counsel Robert Mueller can indict him, a source close to Pence confirmed on Friday.
Shortly after the former national-security adviser Michael Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the F.B.I., Pence contacted Jesus to discuss the early rapture proposal, the source said.
The source characterized Pence�s request to be raptured up as �urgent� but did not indicate whether the Vice-President asked Jesus to rapture up any other senior Administration officials.
�Some of these people will have to be left behind, for obvious reasons,� the source said. �Jared, for example.�
After the news of Pence�s conversation with Jesus leaked to the press, the Vice-President released an official statement, intended to tamp down speculation about his rapture request.
�I had a good conversation with Jesus Christ earlier in the day,� the statement read. �We touched on the timetable of my rapturing-up, along with a broad range of other issues. That is all I have to say at the present time.�
