Borowitz writes: "By a five-to-four vote, the Court eliminated what grade-school children have traditionally been taught was one of the key rationales for founding the United States in the first place."
Michael Barry, left, and Brett Granville, members of the Greece town board, participate in a moment of prayer at the start of a meeting in Greece, New York, on June 16, 2013. (photo: Heather Ainsworth/Bloomberg)
06 May 14
The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."
n what legal experts are calling a landmark decision, on Monday the United States Supreme Court struck down what many believe to be the main reason the country was started.
By a five-to-four vote, the Court eliminated what grade-school children have traditionally been taught was one of the key rationales for founding the United States in the first place.
“The separation of church and state has been a cornerstone of American democracy for over two hundred years,” said Justice Samuel Alito, writing for the majority. “Getting rid of it was long overdue.”
Calling the decision “historic,” Justice Antonin Scalia was guarded in predicting what the Court might accomplish next.
“Last year, we gutted the Voting Rights Act, and today we did the First Amendment,” he said. “We’ll just have to see what’s left.”
