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Borowitz writes: "North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un announced on state television today that he believes the pop star Justin Bieber is 'just a few arrests away' from visiting North Korea as his friend."

Justin Bieber was arrested for DUI. (photo: Miami-Dade Corrections & Rehabilitation Dept.
Justin Bieber was arrested for DUI. (photo: Miami-Dade Corrections & Rehabilitation Dept.


Kim Jong-un: Bieber Just a Few Arrests From Being My Friend

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

24 January 14

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

orth Korean dictator Kim Jong-un announced on state television today that he believes the pop star Justin Bieber is "just a few arrests away" from visiting North Korea as his friend.

"Justin, if you are watching right now, this is my message to you," Kim said. "I stand ready and willing to be your B.F.F."

The mercurial Kim said that he would seek Mr. Bieber's aid in boosting North Korea's slumping pop-music industry, which has failed to generate any hits comparable to South Korea's "Gangnam Style."

"Justin Bieber could be our Minister of Culture," he said.

The dictator said he understood that Mr. Bieber's fans were concerned about the direction the singer was heading of late, but he offered this reassurance: "He is heading to North Korea. It's all good."

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