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Rubin writes: "Feminism has become a bad word. The stereotyped myth of the angry, ugly, man-hating feminist is alive and well. This highly negative, but fictional, caricature has been made to seem repulsive to people."

(photo: unknown)
(photo: unknown)



To End Rape, We Need the F-Word

By Linda Rubin, Al Jazeera

14 February 13

 

spend lots of time in the world of technical theatre in my community. As a result, I have friends of all ages, from teenagers to wise old folks in their 90s. One day, I was sitting in the light booth having a conversation with a 20 year-old crew member who was also a college student. We were talking about some of the struggles college women and men experience in dating. My young friend said that women should not have to fear domestic violence and forced sex in their relationships, and she went on to say that women should not have to fear rape under any circumstance. I agreed.

In December, a brutal gang rape on a bus in Delhi captured international attention and outrage. This rape resulted in the death of a 23 year-old woman, a physiotherapy college student in India. In late 2012, a 20 year-old woman was raped on a Los Angeles metro bus. In early 2013, the rape of a young woman in a Washington, DC parking lot was captured by surveillance cameras. These three sexual assaults occurred in public venues and garnered considerable media attention. They represent only a tiny fraction of the violence against women that occurs every day. Rape is frighteningly common.According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in the United States one in five women is raped during her lifetime, and more than 80 percent of these women know the rapist

Now, national attention is on Steubenville, Ohio. Two high school football players are currently awaiting trial in March after being accused of the gang rape of a 16 year-old girl. Beyond the brutality of the rape, this case captured national attention when considerable evidence of the rape was found in the football teammates' texts, tweets, and cell phone images, which were posted on social networking websites and seen by countless other kids and eventually stunned adults. These tweets exposed sexually provocative and misogynistic views among this network of teens.

While discussing these horrors of rape with my young friend, I used the word "feminist" in describing my point of view. She offered a common paradoxical response, "Well, I'm not a feminist, but...".The "but" was immediately followed by decidedly feminist ideas about non-violence and equality. She agreed that violence against women must be stopped, while flinching at the mere mention of the word, feminist. Although she did not realise it, her idea is a feminist one.

The stigma of the F-word

Feminism has become a bad word. The stereotyped myth of the angry, ugly, man-hating feminist is alive and well. This highly negative, but fictional, caricature has been made to seem repulsive to people. Opponents of feminism exploit these harsh stereotypes and scare women and men away by frequently using hateful language, like "feminazis".Who would want to stand up and claim this as their identity? Resistance is especially profound for college students and other young adults who are in the midst of developing their own identities.

Some girls and women, especially those who are white, educated, and have access to resources, will say that they already have equality. Sometimes it can be hard to see unfairness and inequalities, especially for people who have social and economic privilege and have not experienced discrimination. Girls and women, even those who have feminist ideas -yet do not call themselves feminists - are calling for an end to violence against girls and women.

For many, feminism is strictly associated with women, not men. Men routinely flee from even the idea of feminism because the word is associated with femininity, with women, with girls. For American men, all that is tied to hypermasculinity, like dominance and toughness, is prized, and all that is associated with femininity is expected to be rejected. So, many men reject feminism by mocking it.

Most men want to turn feminism into a joke, without ever realising that it benefits them directly. Of course, feminism can open up careers possibilities by creating options for men to become librarians, nurses, social workers, anything they want to be. If more career options don't interest men, what about better sex? In research out of Rutgers, both college men and older adult men with feminist partners reported greater sexual satisfaction than men with non-feminist partners.

What gets ignored is that feminism is about creating a world in which everyone will want to live, no matter their gender, skin colour, social class, or sexuality. In reality, feminism has the power to impact both men's and women's lives in positive ways. Men could become freer to be themselves than they've ever been, freer to express themselves in their own unique ways, and freer to ignore the social pressure to put on a superficial, hypermasculine mask.

Leading the charge

It is true that we don't need to call ourselves feminists in order to end the sexual violence crisis. If people who are not feminists have ideas about how to end violence against women, I invite them to work alongside their feminist neighbours. All who wish to rid the world of sexual assault are welcome. For now, feminists are leading the charge.

Young feminists are doing a lot as social activists to create change. Here's one example: young feminists have started a community project called SlutWalk to draw attention to and combat our rape-supportive culture. SlutWalk intends to reduce victim-blaming for rape and decrease slut-shaming for women liking sex. Another example: young feminists generated awareness and built conversation about our rape culture when they projected the words, "RAPE IS RAPE", on the US Capitol building in Washington, DC, as part of the political dialogue surrounding the concept of a so-called "legitimate rape". Strong online platforms for feminist discourse, such as feministing.com, feminist.com, and msmagazine.com, inspire this social activism via progressive blogging, community organisation, and activist projects. Texts, tweets, and sophisticated social media networks can be used by feminists to advance messages of social change, non-violence, and equality, rather than serving as a forum for exploitative communications and misogynistic ideas.

It's a myth that young people don't care about feminism. My young friend cared deeply about many feminist issues, including the elimination of violence against women. Ironically, even with some rejection of the word feminist, there remains broad support for feminist ideas. The more exposure young people have to feminists, the more they find people just like themselves. The more exposure to feminists, the more comfortable young adults will become with the word. The more exposure to feminists, the more likely individuals will be to claim this identity, and work to bring change to our culture of rape.

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+20 # worldviewer 2013-02-14 17:23
To end rape--and domestic violence--and unintended pregnancies--me n need to get involved--to speak up and challenge other men. President Obama just set the example when he spoke on fatherhood in the SOTUS--"what makes you a man isn't the ability to conceive a child; it's the courage to raise one.'

The word feminism can easily become an attitude of women against men. We need to live together, work together. We're on the same team.
 
 
+5 # readerz 2013-02-14 21:12
Men need to be involved, but it is as ridiculous to be afraid of the word "feminism" as it is to be afraid of ethnic names. The term "respect" should be foremost.

The situation right now is much worse than it was 40 years ago. Not only is rape epidemic, but the terrible cost of living affects women much worse than men, since women have much lower salaries. We are really suffering. We are not on "the same team" as long as we are excluded from wages, benefits, and even protection from crime. You are trying to trivialize the problems of women.

And doesn't the term "feminazi" bother you? What have women done to kill millions of men: that is going way too far. I've never met a woman what did any of those things to men. Why doesn't your response complain loudly about Rush Limbaugh instead of whining about "feminism?"
 
 
0 # fliteshare 2013-02-17 01:51
Women have faltered on educating their boys.
If single mother families are on the increase, how come rape is on the increase too? Shouldn't it have decreased due to a reduction in "rapist" and other stereotypical male rolemodels ?
Obviously young boys have decided they can't rely on woman folk to show them how to relate and date women. And are, by lack of better, trying to teach each other, with disastrous results.
Expect this to get worse.
I get tired of these so called Feminist who think empowerment means assuming authority without any consideration for the responsibilitie s involved. Don't believe me ? Take it from the man hating Feminists who won't skip an opportunity to scream that "men ARE responsible". Yes, we men stoically take the blame for everything women want to feel victim for. After all we men don't revel in victimhood, we prefer to be seen as guilty over incompetent.
 
 
-1 # John_Fisher 2013-02-14 17:23
"Most men want to turn feminism into a joke." Really? Isn't that painting the issue rather simplistically? It's no joke to me. As an adult male, I have always believed in equal rights for all, including women. But I do cringe at the word "feminism" because a lot of wholesale male-bashing goes on in its name. Was just reading comments at the end of another article, advocating weapons and violence and a tax on male babies for the perceived "risk" that all males tend to become abusers. As long as arguments like these pass as feminism, I will avoid identifying myself as a feminist.
 
 
+10 # Artemis 2013-02-14 19:05
worldviewer and John_Fisher provide evidence of the dilemma:
that any intelligent person could identify "advocating weapons and violence and a tax on male babies for the perceived "risk" that all males tend to become abusers" with feminism is so beyond me that I simply cringe.
As for: "The word feminism can easily become an attitude of women against men"...!
It is so easy for men to kick around such misguided ideas when they feel threatened by something they simply do not comprehend - and why should they when they have made no effort to study what is a major human rights movement of the 20th century?
The backlash to feminism is to depict it as man-hating feminism, not feminism that demands respect and equal rights for all.
There are women in the world who are angry with men or hate men for a whole multitude of reasons - did you guys even read the article?! - but surely we are called upon to make an effort to understand why, rather than feeling threatened. Unfortunately, the majority of men have absolutely zero empathy with women and little knowledge of the world women experience.
As long as men damn feminism, they cannot be trusted to help right the horrific wrongs done to women, to us all. Fortunately, there are men who realize this. They are our partners.
 
 
0 # Rick Levy 2013-02-14 20:49
And for his troubles and telling it like it is, John wound up with a negative (-1) rating, which I offset with a thumbs up vote.

I was a male feminist long before the term was even coined, but have also become disheartened at the male stereotypical male bashing that many (most) prominent feminists indulge in.
 
 
+9 # dmcquaide 2013-02-15 06:07
I don't know about any harm resulting from male bashing, but I do know the physical harm women suffer as a reult of rape, mercy killings, domestic violence (to mention a few), and the emotional effects of being referred to as sluts, whores, feminazis... among the printable gender slurs. Now THAT's disheartening to say the least.
 
 
+7 # bmiluski 2013-02-15 12:07
It's been my experience that whenever I criticized a man for something he has done, I am accused of "male bashing".
 
 
-2 # Todd Williams 2013-02-16 06:56
I think it deends if you are critizing him for his actions or the fact that he's a male.
 
 
0 # Cassandra2012 2013-02-15 14:39
Have you actively spoken truth to any men who are clearly female-bashers? or to degenerate woman-haters like Rush 'Feminazi' Limbaugh?
Without males speaking up, nothing much will be accomplished because anything a woman says is automatically discounted, or turned into a joke. You have to live it,to really understand it.
 
 
+4 # bmiluski 2013-02-15 12:04
Your comment is soooo typical. You take what a "fringe" says as representative of the larger group. This is the typical weapon of men who want to keep women "in their place." They not only take what a small % of feminists say but also attribute to them, bodacious statements that they themselves have made up. This was the same tactic used by men to discredit and demonize witches. Who were basically women healers whose independence from men made then something to be feared.
This is the same tactic that conservatives used to discredit the word "liberal".
So today I am a proud feminist liberal.
 
 
+13 # David Starr 2013-02-14 17:46
Quoting Rubin: "Feminism has become a bad word. This highly negative, but fictional, caricature has been made to seem repulsive to people."


Better the word feminist, etc. than the word "fascist." But Limbaugh's coining of the term "feminazi" is yet another example of right-wing, nonsensical accusations used only for the play on words, with no/inaccurate content.

I'd like Limbaugh to back up his phrase, considering its absurdity: Find feminists goose-stepping and carrying a swastika, Rush, boy.

Despite the obvious, dare this dipshit to literally find proof, for the sake of discouraging, and further descrediting, his shallow semantics; taking him to task with an absurd response to an absurd phrase.

I'd be curious to see how he would respond. But either way, he'll again make a damn fool out of himself.
 
 
+2 # DevinMacGregor 2013-02-14 18:42
I prefer the word HUMANISM because it denotes us as a whole and not this female vs male. Culturally we have assigned traits to be masculine or feminine and then we assigned gender as if either has just that one when we both share those traits. Culture is made up of TWO genders not one and women themselves as well perpetuate old stereotypes. Not simply Limbaugh, Gingrich, etc.

I am a child of the 70s, believe in equality but have become disenchanted by the male bashing I have seen that is made out to be progress. Anyone see the V8 commercial of the women hitting the men? How about the others belittling the male gender? Imagine if that were reversed. Someone would be losing a job. As John has stated above that is exactly what I see as well. It is again rather annoying. I see so much double standards and again not coming from douches like Limbaugh or Faux news.

From my own work experience I have not noticed that females make better managers than men or the other way. And the obstacles in the jobs it listed are hindered BY WOMEN not men. Male preschool teachers are seen as pedophiles and have to get over that stigma. I am not a feminist anymore than I am a masculinist. Again I prefer to say HUMANIST and we as a whole need to rise up as a whole and not this well men if they want to be free need to join the Feminists and stop their Father's Rights movement. NO you BOTH need to join the HUMANIST movement and work as a WHOLE.
 
 
+3 # John_Fisher 2013-02-14 19:21
Well put, Devin. Agree with the Humanist designation 100%.
 
 
+6 # readerz 2013-02-14 21:15
I guess you haven't seen the countless ads that demean women. Maybe you don't watch TV though.
 
 
-1 # DevinMacGregor 2013-02-15 17:56
If I do not watch TV how could not not wee the ads I was inferring? Hmmm. Do you remember the ad for Lite Beer of two women in a fountain fighting? It was a wet T-shirt male fantasy beer commercial that got demeaned as sexism. Do you even get what I am saying? Again that commercial got jumped on from the getgo as objectifying women. Does that mean it is ok to make commercials that are demeaning men? Note how you had to say countless because we what? Have to not diminish that women have to far worse than men?
 
 
+5 # California Neal 2013-02-15 01:44
I am a child of the '50s & '60s. I was active in the civil rights movement, because I'm an egalitarian, a progressive & a humanist. So I became a feminist when the movement began. To paraphrase Artemis, above, women are our partners. The fact that some feminists were annoying did not drive me away. I'm a Democrat despite the fact that many, many Democrats are annoying, or worse.

I spent my career as a child abuse prosecutor & child advocate, fighting for children's rights. Now I support the gay rights movement. If you just keep civil rights in your head, you immediately see that discrimination or abuse based on sex or age or sexual orientation is as unfair as racial or religious discrimination or abuse.

There is no reason for men or women to shy away from being feminists just because some people badmouth it, or are less than stellar advocates for it.
 
 
+1 # Cassandra2012 2013-02-15 14:40
Women's Rights are CIVIL RIGHTS!
 
 
-1 # DevinMacGregor 2013-02-15 17:52
So are Father's Rights. Your point being? Those are not rights to not have to be a father etc but not have the system abuse them.
 
 
-14 # DevinMacGregor 2013-02-14 18:45
Oh and better sex? LOL Seriously? Talk about sexist. Gee guys we all should become feminists or get with one so we could have better sex because according to Linda she is not stereotyping us males that we do things based on our penis.

Linda you are NEVER going to end rape just like one is NEVER going to end car thefts or burglary. We can reduce it but not eliminate it.
 
 
+7 # Regina 2013-02-15 02:22
Try convicting and punishing rapists, for a change. And getting their apologists out of political power.
 
 
-1 # DevinMacGregor 2013-02-15 17:58
Well if I personally would if I were a lawyer I would be we are Regina. We are not teaching boys that it is ok to rape. Just like we are not teaching them it it is ok to steal cars.
 
 
+6 # California Neal 2013-02-15 09:46
What is your problem, Devin? Here's what Linda said: "In research out of Rutgers, both college men and older adult men with feminist partners reported greater sexual satisfaction than men with non-feminist partners." She reported a RESEARCH finding. How is that sexist? How does it stereotype males? Doesn't it make sense that feminist women might tend to be more comfortable about their sexuality, have more egalitarian relationships with men, have real partnerships with men who truly love them, & therefore have better sex?

Ending rape is a goal, just like--in my field--ending child abuse. You should applaud & support people who want to work toward such goals, & appreciate when they have valid ideas about how to do that. We know it will take a lot of time & a lot of work to make progress toward the goal, but we need to do our best to advance the cause in any way we can.
 
 
-2 # DevinMacGregor 2013-02-15 18:10
"Most men want to turn feminism into a joke, without ever realizing that it benefits them directly. Of course, feminism can open up careers possibilities by creating options for men to become librarians, nurses, social workers, anything they want to be. If more career options don't interest men, what about better sex? In research out of Rutgers, both college men and older adult men with feminist partners reported greater sexual satisfaction than men with non-feminist partners."

NO she did not Neal. If men do not want the career options then they can go for the better sex option. Wow Neal it is right there in your face. What if those men want better home cooked meals do they go for the non feminist then? She used a study for the stereotypical notion of men wanting better sex or hey just sex period. Neal I am not FOR rape or ANY crime. I made a realistic statement. The same with world hunger. In the US 96 BILLION pounds of food is thrown out every year. The world food bank is short 11 million. We lack the will to put the food in the right place.
 
 
+1 # California Neal 2013-02-15 23:21
Most PEOPLE prefer satisfying sex, Devin--it's not just a guy thing. No one who read Linda Rubin's article is FOR rape or is pro-crime. None of us is FOR wasting food in the midst of world hunger (& hunger in America), & if you're trying to do something about that--not that you said you are--more power to you.

I just don't understand your hostility toward Linda's article.

You mentioned women not making better managers than men. There are both women & men who make good, bad or indifferent managers. (There are both men & women who reach their level of incompetence when they become managers.) Therefore, the best candidates should be selected. Men should not be given a preference over a woman with equal or better credentials. Your statement hints at resentment toward women managers.
 
 
+8 # KristenLazarian 2013-02-14 18:48
I agree that there is something that feels combative about the word feminism, even though I do identify myself as a feminist. I did have a huge paradigm shift when I listened to Marianne Williamson talk about the need for women to go out into the world and be mothers of the world. The mother aspect of many of us seems gets pushed into a shamed place when really it is where so much of our personal AND public power lies. The impulse in women to protect children from gun violence, to stand up for battered women, to protect girls from genital mutilation, to make rape a war crime, to speak for the education of girls and all children, to empower women to start businesses to support their families and communities, to think about future generations and our warming planet, the safety of the food we eat... all this and so much more comes from a mother impulse. I do think feminism needs to be reframed and we need to proudly take our positions as mothers of this earth and go out and ambitiously and without apology create the conditions for a planet where women and girls can flourish because it will be better for everyone.
 
 
0 # John_Fisher 2013-02-14 19:28
YES. It's up to all of us. And Marianne Williamson is the best writer on what love really is -- including the mothering impulse -- that I have ever read.
 
 
-2 # barbaratodish 2013-02-14 20:51
Quoting John_Fisher:
YES. It's up to all of us. And Marianne Williamson is the best writer on what love really is -- including the mothering impulse -- that I have ever read.

Marianne Williamson writes about what love really is, but her use of mothering and fathering may LIMIT the INFINITY that is love. What if we could FEEL that when we JUDGED, whatever values, i.e., mothering, fathering, etc., that the VALUES were judging and valuing US, instead of the other way around? In other words, there is as much ego and drama in the construct of mothering as there is in the construct of fathering. Perhaps we need to leave the judgments out of "HUMAN"ING! This might be done by transcending ego and drama, by VALUING what Slavoj Zizek calls "THE PERSPECTIVE OF INFINITY" instead of, or in addition to, valuing the PERFORMANCE OF RELATIVITY. When something is relative(as opposed to when something is absolute, namely any and all life and death issues) a judgment involving a QUALITY OF LIFE issue makes the person judging be DEFENSIVE ABOUT being judgmental in the first place and then drama and ego, symptoms of defensiveness, prevent THE PERSPECTIVE OF ETERNITY to be seen. Fear overwhelms the PERSPECTIVE OF ETERNITY that wants to emerge. As a result of having a limited fear based view, life, love, and laughter are seen as PERFORMANCES to be consumed instead of EXPERIENCES TO BE and EXPERIENCES TO LIVE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-hcb9r-3Bk
 
 
+9 # kentuckywoman2 2013-02-14 20:00
Excuse me, but most of this is just so much BS. Feminism today is NOTHING like the feminism of the 1900s when fighting for the vote or for the feminism of the 1960s when feminism was about fighting for equality.

I am no longer a feminist. I say that with much regret, but after trying - in vain - to get young women interested in anything beyond man-hating lesbianism, I gave up.

I am an old-school feminist. I believe we need to return to the original principles of feminism. We still need the ERA, which sadly has been left on a dust-filled shelf for far too many years.

It's time for the "femin-nazis", the man-hating lesbians, and all the other "fake feminists" to step aside. They don't further the cause of feminism; they turn people off to it - myself included.

Feminism isn't, like these young women think, a license to publish ezines about vaginas, or lesbian love, or banishing men into exile. It isn't about a woman's right to dress provocatively or show tits/ass/crotch , or about the right to cuss like a drunken sailor. It has always been about fighting for respect and equality in a "man's world."

Let's get back to the business of true feminism and make it a "respectable" cause that women from all walks of life, from all cultures, and of all ages can feel a part of, rather than the "fringe" group it has been relegated to by a fragment of women who hate men.
 
 
+8 # readerz 2013-02-14 21:27
There aren't very many "feminazis." I know what you mean, but there are always some people in any political movement that are more extreme than others, and if there aren't very many people who listen, all the more so.

In the 1990s to now, we have seen more and more women's rights go into the trash. In Ohio they are considering a "heartbeat" law like the one in Ireland that killed a nice young woman who just happened to have a pregnancy that went septic. That does happen in the U.S. in places that forbid abortions under any circumstance; just for some of the rape statements made in the last few years, I think many of us are furious. Yet even here, on the RSN comments, I do not see any fury directed towards those who have treated women as less important than cattle. Why is that, I wonder? Why should the horrors of this modern attitude be less important to people than the word "feminist?"

I have a wonderful husband myself, but he is dying of cancer (and I will have to deal with reduced benefits, etc.). He stood by me many times; if all men were like that, I think this entire discussion wouldn't come up, but it is those who are not like my husband that this is about. And I notice that my husband stood up for women too, because he is old-fashioned, imagine that.
 
 
-1 # DevinMacGregor 2013-02-15 18:25
I hear you. What I do not like is if you give anything labeled feminism ANY sort of criticism you get jumped on for hating women overall which you are not. I think for the most part we are on the same page. I do not like the word feminazi either and deplored Rush when he would slam Hillary by calling her it. I voted for Hillary but not because she is a woman. I voted for her because I felt she was a better candidate. If she runs in 2016 I will vote for her. I voted for Obama NOT because he is black but because he was a better candidate.

I have SEEN the double standards though. I am FOR equality but again I have seen the double standards down to where standards get lowered for women just to say see they are equal now when they should be genderless standards.

I spend a lot of time on message boards and I brought up one area that we seem to still live in the yesteryear on and that is dating. This whole courtship thing we are still stuck in the age old guy asks girl waits. To me this is a root issue. We change this and we might see ALL of society fall along. But when I mentioned it OH I got jumped well that is because men make more money etc.

My above point is that some men are not the sole hurdle here but a lot of women are as well.
 
 
+9 # bobby t. 2013-02-14 21:28
Most of the readers do not understand what the ERA is about. The constitution of the United States give equal rights to men only. Women are not equal under the law presently.
I am the father of three girls who are now great women. If this country is a true democracy, then women must be equal to men under the law. This is not semantics. This is the law and there are Justices that would see it that way. An amendment must be made and ratified by a certain number of states. When I first arrived in Florida with my babies, Anita Bryant the Orange Queen fought with Phylis Shafley? to defeat the amendment in Florida and other states. There should be a special place in hell for women who hurt other women. Not mine. That was said by Madeline Allbright, after she was Secretary of State. The first one may I add.
I have stated before that many readers underestimate the enemy, like Rush and Roger. Each word is crafted very carefully, and in this case perhaps for the future run by Hillary Clinton. The culture is being split by people who want it that way in order to get power. Rape is violent and powerful in the most disgusting and power way. See the Sopranos and the rape of the therapist, or Two women, where Sophia lauren is raped next to her daughter by a large group of soldiers. This is happening every day, especially in Afria. It must be stopped. the virgin spring movie is another must see for men to understand what women go through. N.O.W. member for life.
 
 
+5 # bobby t. 2013-02-14 22:49
Now is the time to come to the aid of our women. As my first rule is always take care of yourself first, I submit that it is taking care of myself to come to the aid of the the new ERA that is being formulated as I write this. There are wealthy men who will fight this because it means they must pay a woman the same pay for the same work. and yes, I know that the act was passed to provide that relief, but it, as usual, is not being enforced. Is it? Think about your mother, your sister your friend. Think about the women who fight in our army now. Or the doctor that saves your life. Or the justice from the Bronx that just may change history.
And think of this: twenty years after roe v. wade, the crime rate dropped like a rock. kids were not born to women who could not take care of them, poor women, working women, and by not being born to become a criminal, the entire society was helped. Revoke that law, and hell will come to this country like a giant hurricane. So take care of yourself, and come to the aid of women.
 
 
0 # nirmalandhas 2013-02-15 00:04
When I was young I was taught by female teachers at nursery school that “Girls are made of sugar and spice and all that is nice and boys are made of slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails” and this was at the premier girls school in Sri Lanka. Freudian undertones aside, there was a strong undertow of antipathy towards males in the way that this ‘nursery rhyme’ was said and I wondered what made females have such a negative attitude towards males.

It has taken me all of four decades to understand that impact of physiological and anatomical and neurobiological asymmetries on the relations between the sexes. Not only the feminists I know but many, if not most, of the ‘gender specialists’ I know as well do not perceive these asymmetries or their consequences and continue to look at numbers. Hence the feminists I have come across appear as dogmatic and authoritarian lenier and deterministic thinking people whose actions fail to engage the problem or even begin to seek responses.

It looks as though people with an entirely different mindset will have to get organized if relations between the sexes are to be examined and improved.
 
 
+5 # Jean Louise 2013-02-15 09:45
I truly wish people would quit labeling lesbians as man haters.I know quite a few lesbians, and not a one of them hates men. They just don't want to have sex with 'em.
 
 
+7 # marjb 2013-02-15 09:46
When I was 13, a group of boys from my school attacked me on a dark street. They threw me down ripped off my panties and were about to shove a broom handle in when a neighbor stopped them. I told my parents who called the police. The police laughed and asked what I did to "Turn the boys on." My parents grounded me for two weeks for "exagerating." Nobody talked to the neighbor. At 28, I was in a play with a fellow who asked me out on a date. The date ended with him holding a knife on me while I undressed and ... I didn't bother calling the police, but I did report it to my employer at the theatre. Again, it was "disbelieved" and I had to work with this guy for another six weeks until the play closed. I got a college education, have been successful in my profession and have enjoyed a long and happy marriage. I have also always been a feminist. It disturbs me that the men posting in this thread prefer "humaninst." I would, too, if women were treated equally with men, but we are not. I don't hate men. In fact, I have more men friends than women friends - always had. But I do see that women are still so very far from achieving true equality. Why else, the need to control women's bodies through lack of access to family planning? Why the term "legitimate rape?" Why the sudden horror that women are getting more advanced degrees than men after two centuries of the opposite?
 
 
+3 # Todd Williams 2013-02-15 11:25
You ask why? I'll tell you. It's because the Neanderthal, right wing, racist shitheads who call themselves Tea Partiers and Rethuglicans are afraid of losing power to blacks, hispanics and non-Stepford women. That's why. But guess what? They are going to go down and beome a minor footnote in the history of the human species. These assholes are losing and they know it. They will fight to their deaths defending their beliefs. So we had all better be ready for the fight 'cause they will not go quietly.
 
 
0 # bobby t. 2013-02-15 09:53
the rover did not find porno or beer on mars. therefore men are not from mars.
 
 
0 # Todd Williams 2013-02-15 10:20
The way I see it, the bottom line is that there is absolutely no difference between men and women except for the obvious physical differences. The sooner we all realize this simple fact, the sooner we can get on our human trip together, as partners, not gender rivals or enemies.
 
 
+2 # bmiluski 2013-02-15 12:24
Um Todd.....there are many differences between men and women. For one, men tend to be right-brained (creative) and women left-brained (logic/language ). Also, men have a lot more testosterone and testosterone levels play a major role in risk-taking during financial decisions and appear to play a role inducing men to change from being selfless to being selfish. You can see this in the way children play. Little girls play nurturing games such as house. Whereas boys, play destructive games such as war or cowboys and indians.
 
 
0 # Pickwicky 2013-02-15 13:33
bmiluski--"wher eas boys, play destructive games such as war . . .'

Looks like we're right back where we started: Tax and exile those males!
 
 
0 # Cassandra2012 2013-02-15 14:50
Quoting Pickwicky:
bmiluski--"whereas boys, play destructive games such as war . . .'

Looks like we're right back where we started: Tax and exile those males!



There is a wonderful Sci-fi book by Sheri Tepper , THE GATE TO WOMEN'S COUNTRY which is a creative (positive) take on this that should be read by anyone who is 'feminist', male or female.
 
 
+1 # Cassandra2012 2013-02-15 14:53
And who are honest enough to acknowledge that there are indeed differences between men and women (and among some men and other men in terms of the percentage of the aggressive (testosterone-p oisoned?)
 
 
-1 # DevinMacGregor 2013-02-15 18:35
There are differences between men and women. Men tend to be physically stronger and can lift more but it is sexist to pay us more for it.
 
 
0 # Todd Williams 2013-02-15 14:09
I don't agree at all. You cited physical traits, not personality, hope, desire to live unmolested, desire to be productive, to raise children, etc. To make out differences between male and female is to invite discrimination. Same goes with racial identity. Again, I PERSONALLY see no difference. I treat all eqaully, men and women. To do otherwise is foolish and invites problems for all.
 
 
+1 # DevinMacGregor 2013-02-15 18:47
Bravo Todd, not that you need my approval but that is my whole sentiment. It is the only reason I do not like the word feminism and prefer humanism.

A female friend of mine was telling me how she is teaching her younger cousin to open doors for women etc. I asked do you teach your female cousins to do the same for men? She considers herself a feminist. I am not saying disrespect women. My point is that why is this a gender thing? You should open doors for others regardless of their gender. For those giving me those negative feedback that is my point, equality is genderless.
 
 
0 # DevinMacGregor 2013-02-15 18:33
I sat in a bus communication class with 90 plus people and 5 guys who all should had been sitting right next to each other. You could feel the tension in the classroom. The professor was the dean of business. She was going on and on about sexism in industries and saying that IT was the last bastion of mail sexism. Really? We had open enrollment. In ALL my IT classes 95% and I am being low here were ALL guys. Right next door was a business class with 85% of them female. We all looked at ourselves and said we are going into the wrong field. We later watched this film of all women. It put women in groups based on social economic status etc and had them work as teams. It was funny to watch. We watched them fighting. We watched them backstabbing etc. One group had a single male to whom they shunned. In my 28 years of working I have yet to see either gender move ahead in who is better as a manager. I see some differences but not enough to say one gender is better than another.
 
 
+2 # bobby t. 2013-02-15 13:01
sorry wrong again. boys are treated differently by their fathers and mothers at birth on...rough house, wrestling, etc. the boys do not have to sublimate their oral aggression like girls do (reading and language skill are advanced in girls)and boys will bite more when they are two. culture patterns train differences, not nurture. but, in your senerio, young male animals do fight more then females. rams, lions, apes, etc. this is also true. showin off for the females? that seems to be genetic and hormonal. in humans, i believe it is slightly that, but mostly socialization skills.
 
 
-1 # Todd Williams 2013-02-15 14:12
So several of you feel that we are doomed to these so-called inherent traits? We cannot overcome them? We are nothing more than a matter of genetics? Sorry, I don't buy it.
 
 
+1 # DevinMacGregor 2013-02-15 18:40
I was taught by a mother who bitched about the glass ceiling all the time even as her career progressed and other women were moving higher up than she was. Is this me saying it does not exist? No, just that it did not for my Mom. She had the money to get herself that degree to move ahead. She simply was consumed in anger over this male vs female thing. She taught me to cook, clean, wash clothes, and all indoor choirs BUT I did the outdoor ones as well while my Sister only did the indoor ones. I listened to her bitch about her male boss taking out the only male in her dept which she only took out the females in her dept. She never understood why he did. It was simply a blanket accusation of see this is how men get ahead without realizing it is safer for him to take to lunch the only other male in the office as if he takes any female he has to take two or more to protect himself.
 
 
0 # DevinMacGregor 2013-02-15 18:48
Exactly.
 
 
+1 # Todd Williams 2013-02-16 07:05
My mother was what I call an "old school feminist." She graduated from college during WWII when most students were female because of the war. She became a journalist and a teacher. She never spoke about feminism but was a true feminist. She was treated equally by my father who was also a journalist. She taught me how to cook, do laundry and clean up my own mess. She never preached feminism but lived it daily. This is why I do not see differences between men and women.
 
 
+1 # Rick Levy 2013-02-15 20:18
How about offering the same right of anonymity to those accused of rape that the victims get? The practice of publicly identifying defendants--com plete with photos--before they've even had their day in court prejudices the public against them and negatively impacts their chance of a fair trial.
 
 
0 # ghostperson 2013-02-15 23:07
Ever heard of a motion to change venue?
 
 
0 # Rick Levy 2013-02-16 20:05
That only shifts the problem to another location. It doesn't address the core issue of inequality between the anonymous accuser and the named accused.
 
 
-1 # Todd Williams 2013-02-16 07:08
I understand what you are saying. However, the identity of all defendants in every criminal case becomes public when charges are filed. So why should rape be different?
 
 
0 # Rick Levy 2013-02-16 20:01
Because unlike in other crimes, the identity of accusers in rape cases is usually not publicly divulged. Why shouldn't the accused get the same protection?
 
 
+1 # corals33 2013-02-16 07:45
feminism is about women respecting themselves,brin ging up their sons to respect women, avoiding being used by the men who see women as tools of and for merchandise,def ying all those who see war as a solution to problems; in other words just being a decent human being.
 
 
0 # Rick Levy 2013-02-17 20:40
If violence against women is rampant, mothers mothers must be doing a piss-poor job in bringing up sons to respect others.
 
 
0 # bobby t. 2013-02-16 09:31
The definitions are interesting to me. A man who is put up in a big condo apartment by three older women. They have intercourse with him once a week. The guy even has a girl friend on the side. This guy is a stud. What do women call him? yes, a gigalo and a male whore? I can't spell well as some of you know.
A married man puts up a beautiful women in a condo apartment and buys her jewels and other expensive presents. What do women call her?
do they call her a whore? nope...his girl friend and she deserves that stuff was one answer from a group of married women and their grown daughters, or a mistress. never the same thing, a person who takes money or gifts for affection or sex, in other words, they are both whores in the definitive sense of the word. any questions?
 

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