Borowitz writes: "Republican critics of Obamacare rose up in anger today, claiming that, after two months of fixes, the healthcare.gov Web site is now 'unacceptably fast.'"
The homepage of Healthcare.gov, the online home of the new US health insurance exchange marketplace. (photo: Healthcare.gov)
GOP: Healthcare.gov Too Fast Now
02 December 13
The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."
epublican critics of Obamacare rose up in anger today, claiming that, after two months of fixes, the healthcare.gov Web site is now "unacceptably fast."
Leading the howls of protest was the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform chairman Darrell Issa (R-Calif.), who accused President Obama of designing a Web site that operates at a "blistering, breakneck speed."
"With pages loading in milliseconds, this Web site is insuring people before they know what hit them," Rep. Issa charged. "Clearly, this is what the President and his team had in mind."
Additionally, Rep. Issa said, at such high speeds "it is questionable whether this Web site is even safe for consumers to use, particularly the elderly."
The California Republican said he would call for hearings this week to investigate the dangerous new velocity of healthcare.gov, telling reporters, "If anyone can slow this thing down, it's me."
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