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A deep-fried turkey burns after a mishap. (photo: Ann Sagona Insurance Agency)
A deep-fried turkey burns after a mishap. (photo: Ann Sagona Insurance Agency)

Homeland Security Issues Turkey Fryer Warning

By Charlie Spiering, The Washington Examiner

23 November 11


he Department of Homeland Security is taking any threat seriously during the Thanksgiving holiday, including the ominous threat to our national security posed by turkey fryers.

"How dangerous can turkey fryers be?" asks a warning issued on the official DHS Twitter account. "Make sure the turkey is completely thawed before placing in a fryer, or this may happen."

The department linked to an ominous video highlighting the dangers of deep frying a turkey.

"Use turkey fryers outdoors at a safe distance from buildings." the DHS tweeted, "Never use turkey fryers in a garage or on a wooden deck." your social media marketing partner


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+34 # pernsey 2011-11-23 12:48
OMG!! LOL, beware the dreaded terrorists with turkey fryers hahahhahaa!!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone LOL!!

If you use a fryer stay safe, that headline just struck me as so ridiculous it was funny!
+30 # JanisL 2011-11-23 18:30
Remember the Consumer PRoduct Safety Commission, a federal agency? Wouldn't this fryer be a matter for them to issue warnings or recalls about? How many billions of dollars are we wasting on this totally Unneeded Homeland Security? Shut it down, for pete's sake!
+3 # Billy Bob 2011-11-23 22:59
It's completely redundant because completely redundant wildly overfunded bureaucracies are an important part of the right-wing view of "smaller government".
+19 # Capn Canard 2011-11-23 12:50
Repeat: Oil and water do not mix. Repeat. I hear that some people put turkey's in that were less than dry. Very dangerous. Cast aside your Common Sense and use GOOD SENSE instead.
+85 # Brian Flaherty 2011-11-23 13:10
Your tax dollars at work in the Public Interest!

When I read this I wanted to call Mr Obama and John Boener and Harry Reid and ask them to DOUBLE appropriations for the Dept of Homeland Security!

Makes you PROUD to be an American!

However. . .I just wish the clowns in our Government would exhibit the same concern about the chemicals that are used in the PRODUCTION of these (and, other) food stuffs!!!

Oh, yeah. . Almost forgot. . .D'ya think they could show a little more concern for the American People who won't be able to afford a turkey this year! And, are otherwise denied the pleasure of appreciating such concern for their safety!!!
+67 # barkingcarpet 2011-11-23 13:19
The most dangerous deep fat fryers, are the ones in public office and corporate control.

They are fat, and frying the rest of us.

Shouldn't we heed the danger and unplug them?
+12 # gentle 2011-11-23 13:19
I agree, HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERY ONE. A time for all to enjoy family.
+28 # BobbyLip 2011-11-23 13:33
Advice from turkeys about turkeys -- Washington in a nutshell.
+9 # stonecutter 2011-11-23 15:08
Love it! Best crack on RSN in months....made my day....
+42 # Billy Bob 2011-11-23 13:36
I liked the above comment about oil and water not mixing. In that vein, I thought I'd make a list of some other things that don't mix:

1. "homeland security" and Constitutional rights.

2. conservative big government beuracracies and "small government"

3. the "patriot act" and American values (YES, I know it's a rewording of "1", but I thought it was such a HUGE thing that it was worth mentioning twice)

4. SERIOUS threats and the things we are told to fear for political reasons

5. the stated goals of "homeland security" and the ACTUAL security of American citizens (i.e. we're creating more terrorists than we're stopping, but hey! who's counting?)

6. a logical / RATIONAL approach to protecting our citizens vs. the kinds of political opportunism conservatives (including Obama) have used against us for over a decade.

7. see "1" and "3", yet again. You'll be quizzed on it the next time you attempt to board a plane to visit your family for the holidays (especially if you ever attended an OWS protest).


On a side note, I think a discussion of geese would be more appropriate, as in: "If you care about the U.S. Constitution - thanks to DHS, YOUR GOOSE IS COOKED!"

+29 # Billy Bob 2011-11-23 13:39
By the way, do overfed conservatives have to deep fat fry EVERYTHING? - as if burning the Constitution wasn't enough...
+3 # Okieangels 2011-11-23 19:14's a southern thing...
+2 # Billy Bob 2011-11-23 21:35
So is being buried in a piano case.
+27 # Felix Julian 2011-11-23 13:45
Unfortunately, this might make us giggle but the reality is this- under the guise of protecting us from "bioterrorism" via our food supply, the DHS is putting the pressure on small livestock and produce farmers in the way of huge fees and expenses to insure the American food supply is not tampered with by those who mean to do us harm.
As a small livestock farmer myself, I have many friends who produce incredibly wonderful, healthful foods and dairy products who are being hounded by state and local authorities due to the concerns I mention above. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it must be the DHS and their lobbying pals from Monsanto.
Happy Thanksgiving! Be sure to check your turkey, gravy, 'taters, rolls, and pies very, very closely...
+2 # Bodiotoo 2011-11-23 23:10
Quoting Felix Julian:
Unfortunately, this might make us giggle but the reality is this- under the guise of protecting us from "bioterrorism" via our food supply, the DHS is putting the pressure on small livestock and produce farmers in the way of huge fees and expenses to insure the American food supply is not tampered with by those who mean to do us harm.
As a small livestock farmer myself, I have many friends who produce incredibly wonderful, healthful foods and dairy products who are being hounded by state and local authorities due to the concerns I mention above. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it must be the DHS and their lobbying pals from Monsanto.
Happy Thanksgiving! Be sure to check your turkey, gravy, 'taters, rolls, and pies very, very closely...

I know what you mean about over regulation. Local health dept wanted to know why 400 runners couldn't just go to the sponsoring restaurant at the end of thier run...and then he went on to state, "That's what my car club does after a "run"!"...and they call that "Enviormental Health" Dept...idiots,
+11 # fredboy 2011-11-23 14:06
I am so happy that they have taken this step as they attempt to protect republicans and other rednecks from incinerating their homes and themselves with turkey fryers.

Maybe they can one day share such wisdom with the Navy, encouraging them to have armed deck watches when they stop in terrorists nations like Yemen--just like the deck watches they have in Norfolk and other US ports. Might prevent another Cole attack.
+6 # Nell H 2011-11-23 14:09
Actually, the video contains very good advice. If you have a turkey fryer (I don't), these words of caution could save you from setting your house on fire!

Yo've read about people setting their house or themselves on fire with a gas grill. It happens. The warning is timely.
+4 # X Dane 2011-11-23 22:47
Nell, The advice, is indeed timely, for those turkey fryers are very dangerous, but...... it is rediculous, that the homeland security is involved in something that should be handled by the consumer protection agency.

Happy thanksgiving to all of you.
+16 # qasee 2011-11-23 14:13
What's next? DHS putting out videos on safe sex?
+32 # DavePrice 2011-11-23 14:13
Homeland security is a national anti-terrorist group. Am I the only one that feels very uncomfortable with them giving advice to Citizens over cooking? Sorry but im just so sick of the Government using fake scare tactics to create more Goverment agencies just to get in our brains and our beds, next thing they will be making laws and we will be criminals for yet another thing this government has no business in telling us what to do over.
+18 # stonecutter 2011-11-23 15:16
Dave, you've hit a deep nerve with your comment. Of course this "warning" is the insidious brainstorm of some bureaucratic idiot who believes it's the role of DHS to advise the unwashed masses about frying turkeys. Get ready for the embedded TV screen in your home wall, a la "1984", making looped announcements about the approved times to go to the bathroom.
+9 # Texas Aggie 2011-11-23 14:16
Why would anyone want to deep fry a turkey? Breaded fish fillets, crayfish, shrimp or something similar you can understand, but something as thick as a turkey???
+1 # jooberdoober 2011-11-23 21:38
It's a very fast, delicious way of cooking a turkey, but not something any idiot should try to do. If you don't know what you are doing, do not attempt!
+34 # MEBrowning 2011-11-23 14:26
I appreciate the sincerity of the video, but is it really necessary to spend Homeland Security taxpayer dollars to remind people that oil on flame might pose a fire hazard?

Wait. Many Americans think Rick Perry is an intellectual giant. They don't care that Herman Cain's 9-9-9 tax plan comes from the computer game Sim City. They think Michele Bachmann's rapture-ready mentality is good for the country. They celebrate the pepper spraying of students and the elderly who attempt to exercise their First Amendment rights. They think it's fine to carry concealed weapons into bars and other public places. They maintain that human-caused climate change is a hoax and that Social Security is a Ponzi scheme. They consistently vote against their own economic interests. And they believe a handful of cells and multi-billion-d ollar corporations should have the same rights as humans.

Never mind.
+11 # stonecutter 2011-11-23 15:18
MEBrowning: Great comment. If I knew you, I'd buy you a copy of Terry Gilliam's "Brazil" for Xmas. In this bizarro-world country, anything is possible.
+3 # bigelowrs 2011-11-23 22:22
That pretty well sums it up.
No wonder the country is going down the tubes. We have become the prisoners of our nutcases.
OWS is an attempt to make us see what is happening. Will we listen?
+10 # MoonBotDingo 2011-11-23 14:32
Why don't we just use deep fat turkey fryers to drop on the insurgents instead of expensive high tech. laser guided munitions? We could issue the fryers to combat units (with a turkey or chicken) cook the turkey and then hook it up immediately to acquire a target and drop the unit on the terrorist. Of course before we put this brilliant scheme together we should to a hostile takeover of all of the turkey fryer manufacturers and then quietly purchase all of the appropriate oil for the propellant. This will drive the price of cooking oil sky high. We could then dump the oil on the commodities market and make a killing and just use turkey fryers with napalm to drop on the enemy combatants. What do you think. Also we can play both sides of the conflict and sell these T-shirts لا تبدو تركيا المقلاة هدية في الفم which is Arabic for "Do not look a gift turkey fryer in the mouth"
+6 # Billy Bob 2011-11-23 15:41
All good ideas. However, wouldn't it just be easier to create a multi-trillion dollar psy-op telling evildoers everywhere that turkey frying is really safe?

Then, we could just sit back and watch them destroy themselves. After none of them are left, it would be a land rush to set up the drills over the entire third world. I know I'll feel a whole lot safer when all the world's evildoers are dead from the effects of the CHOLESTEROL BOMB this would detonate! People in the third world would be totally unprepared for such an explosion of cholesterol!
-15 # Anya 2011-11-23 14:37
#volcanoexpert, I don't know how much taxpayer money you think it takes to LINK to a video. Clearly if you had watched the video or noticed the UL symbol in the bottom right hand corner, you would have noticed that the video itself was produced by Underwriters Laboratories. And that's President Obama. You should have a little respect for the office even if you don't approve of the man.
+9 # Billy Bob 2011-11-23 15:29
How much taxpayer money was used to pay the beaurocrats who issued the warning?

Should ANY taxpayer money be used so inappropriately ? Is this really an issue of "homeland security"?


"You should have a little respect for the office even if you don't approve of the man."

The office of President didn't make the warning. The President SHOULD however review if the DHS is actually doing anything.
+6 # Nominae 2011-11-23 20:13
Quoting Billy Bob:

.......... The President SHOULD however review if the DHS is actually doing anything.

*Doing* anything ? Gee whiz, Billy Bob, keeping constant track of 330 million Americans, 24/7, is enough to tucker-out even the toughest members of DHS.

Bcuz you and I know that "all terrorism is local". And turkey terrorism is just *the* worst. "Doing anything" ? I find myself wishing they were "doing" a whole lot LESS !
0 # Billy Bob 2011-11-23 21:37
Which begs the serious question: Why do we need the DHS?
+12 # humanmancalvin 2011-11-23 14:38
This just in: The Department of Homeland Security has issued a coast to coast red alert bulletin warning all citizens that voting for any Republican in any race will cause your Thanksgiving turkey to explode. We will now continue with our regularly scheduled programing.
+1 # X Dane 2011-11-23 22:56
Human. HA, HA, HA, We needed that.
A goood laugh before the big feast
+9 # John Gill 2011-11-23 14:42
What a turkey....aherm m..sorry guys, but getarian forever! Happy Thanksgiving!
+10 # fredboy 2011-11-23 15:31
Hope they venture into auto safety too. The tailgaters and resulting wrecks are at epidemic level--and beyond stupid when you think about the basic physics involved.
+13 # noitall 2011-11-23 15:37
Give these out to the 1%, its a Darwin test.
0 # William Bjornson 2011-11-23 16:11
As an absolutely average Celtic white guy exMarine raised in what was (or still is?) the most racist city in America (which means in the World) Chicago, Illinois, I have discovered that a rather small reading of History and a small amount of thought leads inexorably to the question: What is the essential difference between celebrating Thanksgiving and celebrating Kristallnacht, except for the relative triviality of Kristallnacht in comparison? Learning and thinking can be such a biatch. It's no wonder that so few Americans do it. Happy Engorgement!
+13 # jwb110 2011-11-23 16:37
Can we just close Homeland Security down and save the taxpayer some money! Turkeys talking turkey about more turkeys.
+12 # walt 2011-11-23 16:53
Homeland Security was started by a real turkey (G.W.Bush) so they know their turkeys well!

I wonder if they have any info on terrorist turkeys?

+10 # jlg 2011-11-23 16:58
Thanks to all for an unusual number of unusually hilarious posts - and one or two more sobering ones. Wouldn't it be interesting to have a nationwide comparison between the things for which the 99% are thankful, vs the 1%?
+3 # Issybee 2011-11-23 17:00
So I guess the turkey lobby has spread some of their funds around Homeland Security and Homeland Security decided to show how "Thsnkful" they are?
+5 # Dion Giles 2011-11-23 18:45
Occupy DHS?
+10 # aalauf 2011-11-23 19:55
This is really all Obama's fault. His administration has caught and or killed
so many of the scary terrorists that the DHS is runnning low on high profile threats, and like any government agency, it needs to continually demonstrate it's value. thus, instead of warning us about terrorist turkeys, the new boogieman, one we can all relate to is cajun fried turkeys. .
+4 # Rick Levy 2011-11-23 20:55
"The Onion" couldn't have published a better send up.
-1 # propsguy 2011-11-23 21:36
now that's a government that's too big! couldn't this turkey have gone to feed some poor homeless person instead of being sacrificed to this insipid video?
0 # KittatinyHawk 2011-11-23 22:16
I was really hoping that the Homeland Security was actually going to discuss the use of these on the Airlines. Do you know that I do not fly but I am totally afraid if I go to an airport I am going to see people with oil and these fryers going onto airlines, their accomplices bringing geese, ducks, turkeys and over fatty pork butts.
With so much scanners looking for the concealed weapons, it seems we are overlooking the least expected. a cell phone could be the trigger device...if the plane did not get damage, can you imagine the grease burns.
DHS if you are going to make the Videos to seem human, try to make some comprehensible of what a turkey fryer and terrorism links could actually be.
We know you are not humane but reprehensible.

I would not Trust the DHS with a turkey fryer no less my Country...remem ber Ridge?
'Nough Said.

All the rest or you...have a great Holiday, when you toast, remember we have a lot to be thankful for. We are going to Change the World! Then perhaps all those in Agencies and Office today will really be on unemployment, fighting for Social Security and Medicare.
0 # Anya 2011-11-23 22:43
Wow, 11 negative votes for pointing out that this video was not made using taxpayer dollars. There are many real reasons to criticize the Department of Homeland Security but putting wasting money by taking a couple of seconds to tweet a link is not one of them. This just makes the readership look ridiculous.
+3 # cypress72 2011-11-23 23:34
According to an Allstate Insurance commercial, last year 15 people burned their houses to the ground deep frying their Thanksgiving Day turkeys. Pretty sad.
+4 # CreepingSocialist 2011-11-24 00:05
I don't understand why turkeys aren't cut into pieces (wings, drumsticks, etc.)before breading and frying the way chicken is. Just because we roast turkeys whole, doesn't mean we have to fry them that way, does it?
+4 # Glen 2011-11-24 07:05
Actually, I lost a friend due to fumes and fire while he was cooking in the garage. His fryer and smoker were going at the same time. He really did know better, but he is gone. Never the wrong time to warn everyone.
+3 # ElenaR 2011-11-24 14:53
DHS did not produce this video - anyone notice the big letters "UL" in the lower right hand corner? That's Underwriters Laboratories, a private, non-profit that certifies all sorts of electrical products (that's where I'm most familiar with them), and obviously they're interested in turkey fryers as well. So if you found this being promoted at DHS, figure it probably took them less time to post it than it took you to view and comment - not exactly a huge drain on the Treasury. Pay attention people, and untwist your knickers.
+2 # Mouna 2011-11-24 16:05
Well, enough about DHS and turkey incineration. Thanks, RSN and all who brought, to the point of tears, much needed laughter. I'm falling in love with all the +'s as well as the -'s.

As one of you up there said, "We all One!"

Laughing gratitude!
0 # Scott479 2011-11-25 07:51
Fricking morons-but not as foolish as those who give up liberty in return for the imagined safety brought by an oppressive and civil rights crushing DHS.
0 # peterjkraus 2011-11-26 11:42
It should read "Turkeys issue Homeland Security Warnings", considering what we are to HS and how they are treating us currently.
0 # Aunt Tom 2011-11-26 11:52
I bet that was a Sharia turkey they discovered lurking around the World Trade Center. Good Job, DHS! Keep it up!
+3 # Electricrailwaygod 2011-11-26 14:04
Who on Earh would want to DEEP FRY a turkey!? Isn'tthere enough high cholesterol in the American diet? This deep fry business seems to be an ADDICTION to Americans! I enjoy the traditional American Thanksgiving fest -- justthe way it was intended to be, by baisting a roasting turken in the OVEN! Not only a danger to one's self in regarding safety in cooking, but also a danger in regard to heart disease, obesity and diabetes from the HEALTH angle as well!
THROW OUT THOSE DEEP FRYERS! Please stick to ROASTING in an oven, its more tastier and health upon a comparative sacle anyway! HAPPY TURKEY DAY!

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