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writing for godot

Diaperless president escapes crib, perplexes new Babysitter

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Written by Carl Peterson   
Sunday, 13 August 2017 14:06

 

Diaperless president escapes crib, perplexes new Babysitter

 

Two nights ago the infant president once again escaped his crib, leaving behind a nearly full diaper.

His new Babysitter, not quite two weeks on the job, spent the better part of half an hour searching for the infant president, tracking him by footprints laid down by tiny feet soiled with what had been the contents of the presidential diaper.

Hired to instill discipline in the youthful president, the new Babysitter eventually tracked him to the Oval Office, where the lad sat happily in the middle of the room, some of the former contents of his diaper smooshed across his face and balanced atop his head.  "He seemed so happy, and he has been so often upset lately, that I hated to interrupt his fun,"  the new Babysitter said.  "But he hired me to instill discipline.  I think the little accident with his diaper was just him protesting the strained green beans he had for supper earlier that night."

Later, at a bar, the new Babysitter said that when he found the infant president, the boy said something to him that sounded like "Fast and Furious."  The new Babysitter assumed that the infant president was asking to see one of his favorite movies for the hundredth time.  The infant president had continued to burble the phrase over and over again as the Babysitter carried him back to his room for clean up.

It was not until the next day when the infant president distinctly enunciated the phrase before the cameras and the world that the Babysitter realized what the boy had been saying the night before:  "They will be met by Fire and Fury like the world has never seen!"

"Argh!" the new Babysitter said, slapping himself on his bald head with the heel of his palm.  "I was supposed to stop things like that!  But you know?  Really I think he was talking about the cooks who served him the strained green beans."

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