Does the news have a future? I wish that it did, 
I like mine well-written and of horse feathers rid, 
All propped on stout pylons of facts, figs and stats, 
And with but a page about hits and at-bats, 
And if they throw in a Pentagon scandal, 
I'm glad to their toes a scribe's holding candle. 

But lately I'm feeling this pull on my leg: 
I see but crusades with hard news gone a-beg. 
Here's Mueller to remind us that Trump's not legit, 
This drama "Collusion" where clues hardly fit, 
There's Stormy whose lawsuit's in its inception, 
'Course for those eyebrows I'll make an exception. 

Another crusade knocks on poor Vlady Putin, 
Who might get some Likes if his name was Wayne Newton, 
His Russia's improved since the Boris Y. time, 
When neocons enabled the wealthy's repine, 
But Wash-town loathes Vlady 'cause he's not their man, 
They want Russia put down, knocked hard on its can. 

Yes, the news now is Crusade True Confessions, 
In which China crushes all free expressions, 
Iran gets whacked for repressing females, 
India for rape and Assad for assails, 
Famine in NK, Maduro's poor graces: 
Are things always lousy in all of these places? 

I doubt that they are but the media say yes, 
Hence in our own country the crises are less. 
Foreclosures are nil and good jobs abound, 
Our wars are progressing with nobody downed, 
The race problem's solved, women brag of their lot, 
It's folks paid by Putin who come stir our pot. 

Gee-whiz, then go tell him I'd like to cash in, 
Maybe not for the dough of one who's all in, 
Like millionaires handsome who broadcast Fox News: 
I'm fine with six figures if I can spout views, 
For if news has come down to crusade-du-jours, 
It only depends on who foots sinecures.