As a conscientious dog parent of  a high drive young German Shepherd Dog, I  schlep Miss Libby’s fuzzy butt to scent training, at which she excels,  and obedience training, at which she also excels.  My biggest challenge with her is to keep her properly exercised (i.e.-activity that would exhaust any normal dog) without putting me into cardiac arrest and to keep her diabolical little brain engaged in constructive activity. Physically, there’s no way in hell any human could walk her enough to give her the exercise she needs.  A half hour of a steady fast trot on the treadmill (which she loves) barely cuts it and is reserved for nasty weather days.  Other times she goes to the dog park to run and chase or to the gravel pit with it’s steep hills where she can really haul ass and yeehaw to her heart’s content while allowing mom a leisurely stroll.  A tired dog = a happy owner.

So I get this bright idea that agility training would be just the ticket...engaging brain and body for a good work out. Doing my homework I find the right trainer...hell, any Park Ave. mom of a bright toddler would nod approvingly at my due diligence: interviewing the trainer, after soliciting recommendations from trusted dog people, observing a class and enrolling.  I smugly think to myself, “she’ll be a star, she’s so smart”.  So off we go to our first class.  I’ve assured the trainer (a recognized agility judge, BTW) that once Libby understands it’s not play time, she’ll settle down to business.  First obstacles presented are weave poles, jumps, loops and a tunnel.  We are the last to go and Libby has been intently watching the other dogs perform, mess up, try again but having so much fun.  Then our turn.  It takes a couple of times for her to figure out the weave poles-- the jumps and hoops are easy, and the trainer says we’ll leave the tunnel for a later class because it’s the most difficult.  OK, Libby’s got the gist of it on leash and the trainer says now it’s time to do it off leash.  Concurrently, the handler (Moi) has to be in a certain position for each obstacle.  I don’t expect perfection, particularly on my part, but I think we can manage.  Off comes the leash and Libby’s in heel position beside me.  I say “weave” and she zips right through as I run to catch her as she exits the poles and head over to the loops.  She’s having fun and goes through correctly (I’m feeling really smug by now since some of the more experienced dogs ran outside the loops or missed completely).  I’m breathing hard  as we head for the jumps.  Libby is right beside me and flies over the jumps as I start to seriously flag.  The trainer says “excellent” now put her back on leash.  “Au contraire” says Miss Libby who gives a delighted yelp, jumps on me and flies (not runs) through the tunnel.  I make a mad dash to catch her as she exits but she spins out of reach and flies back through the tunnel and then it’s “Katie bar the door” as Libby butt tucks, goes into turbo charge racing maniacally around the arena.  The instructor is saying rather firmly, “Leash your dog! Use your recall!”   Libby has been struck deaf and insane.   The next class has begun filtering in and my class is standing against the wall in open mouthed awe.  The woman with the Papillion is terrified of German Shepherds since one savaged her little dog, and she’s apoplectic.  I yell to the instructor (who I could swear is frothing at the mouth) that there’s only one way to stop her...I have to leave the arena.  “DO NOT LEAVE YOUR DOG” she yells.  “You don’t understand” I gasp and head for the exit...at which psycho dog stops dead and runs after me whining “don’t leave me”. I snap on the leash and she walks sedately to the car and hops in.

Um, I was UNinvited to the next class.

The next dog I get will be stupid and lazy.