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writing for godot

Buy Qatari War Bonds Today! (tomorrow might be too late)

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Written by Philip Kraske   
Sunday, 02 July 2017 18:36

Been thinking about what to do with my dough,

This mountain of cash that does nothing but grow,

I could blow it on babes and fastuous good times,

And trickle it down to the folks with but dimes,

But I'd like something grand, more fitting of Me,

And thus have focused on the cause Qatari.

 

Qatar's the size of a Rhode Island county,

Has a cool flag and enviable bounty,

And a name in two ways people can utter,

Rhyming with "tar" or sounding like "cutter,"

And the best news service that nat-gas can buy,

That bugs all monarchies except the most nigh.

 

More weight do they throw than they have a good right,

But what is wealth for if you're going to be tight?

It's also defense against mafias like Saud,

Whose very own family has something of fraud,

And who should be wary of folks who can hire

Hackers and hitmen and royals who aspire.

 

Yet 't'would seem Prince Salman has nothing to do,

But bomb the Yemenis and make neighbors blue,

And while we're all grateful for the cash he may drop

For jets and rifles and sleek drones that go "pop,"

And gets in the face of those creeps from Iran,

I'd rather he stuck to his wives and Koran.

 

But everyone loves a good ultimatum,

Delivered with zest and quoted verbatim.

The problem, however, is on the day after,

When one starts to hear the fast-growing laughter,

'Cause into a corner you've 'self neatly painted,

And have to deliver or find yourself tainted.

 

Now the prince strikes me not as the self-tainting type,

But more like the kind who believes his own hype.

So I think Qataris should quick war-bonds sell:

Goliath is coming and he'll ring their bell,

And Allah help us all if free-for-all starts,

'Cause this will be war that's well off the charts.

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