Written by Wilma Howe-Bennett   

Wow, what an interesting couple of weeks we’ve had, eh? So, I’m instituting a new irregular feature in honour of all of the weasels that have been on parade this last couple of weeks: The WEASELS ON PARADE award.

WEASEL OF MISOGYNY: Glenn Beck taking on Megan McCain for her public service commercial about skin cancer awareness (both her mother and her father have had well-publicized battles with the disease). Seems that Mr. Beck thinks that she’s too fat to do something like that. Beck landed in hot water with the McCains' after he pretended to vomit for several minutes on his radio show while watching Meghan McCain's skin cancer awareness ad, where she appears to be naked. She DID get in a few slaps back, writing in the Daily Beast: “Their daughter took another hit at Beck, asking if this was the legacy he wanted to leave to his teen daughters, who might be struggling with body issues themselves. I'm going to let you in on a little secret, Glenn: you are the only one who looks bad in this scenario," McCain wrote.

WEASEL OF “THE FAMILY”: Although I probably say “weasels”, plural. Sen. Tom Coburn played a more active role than was previously known in the negotiations between ex-Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev.) and his former aide, Doug Hampton. The extent of the Oklahoma Republican's involvement is made clear in a report released Thursday by the Senate Ethics Committee that accuses the former senator of serious criminal violations. Coburn, a friend of Ensign’s who confronted him about the adultery, became involved as an intermediary in negotiations between Ensign and Doug Hampton. The former aide sought money from Ensign in spring 2009. Coburn negotiated the payment to Doug Hampton down from $8 million to about $2.8 million, according to the report. Tim Coe, who has been tagged as former Senator Ensign’s “spiritual advisor”, was approached by Mr. Hampton, after Mr. Hampton returned from a trip. Mr. Hampton mistakenly thought that the assistance of Tim Coe, Senator Ensign’s long-time spiritual advisor, would help with ending the affair. Mr. Coe recommended that they bring in a higher authority, which is where Senator Coburn came in. OK, first the “facilitator”, then the “bagman”. It appeared that Senator Ensign got it and was more receptive to actually stopping the affair. According to Mr. Coe, Senator Ensign lied about the affair and how it persisted, and Mr. Coe did not trust him going forward. All of the perps involved – oops, pardon *ME*, the participants – in the intervention and the cover-up, resided in the C Street house owned by The Family, which is a right-wing “christian” activist group.

WEASEL OF THE MONTH: Paul Ryan, he of the “LET’S KILL MEDICARE, WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT GRANDMA? *I* CERTAINLY DON’T” budget bill. Funniest darn thing, though: The boy got his head handed to him during his town hall meetings, by a bunch of folks who are ON Medicare, and who, while they agree that waste in the system needs to be addressed and correctly, vehemently opposed Rep. Ryan’s bright idea of a $6K voucher so that they could go out and find individual insurance policies of their own. When Rep. Ryan was asked if he knew anything about Medicare, his answer was “Of course not, I don’t need it”. BAD answer, sonny! Sounds like a good idea in the face of it, except for just one TINY thing: It won’t work because big insurance companies, especially the health care companies, will refuse to insure them because A) they’re over 65; B) most have chronic illnesses; C) the insurance companies would have to cover most if not all of the co-pays out of their OWN pockets and D) they’re over 65, and basically are pretty powerless to oppose this egregious nonsense. Ryan’s budget would guarantee that most of the folks that got sucked into this “plan” would be dead within a few months of their running out of money to pay for hospitals, long-term care, etc. Look up the statistics for yourselves, gangers.

Talk about death panels!

WEASEL OF THE MONTH: Newt “QUICKIE DICKIE” Gingrich. Yes, this wonderful man, who thinks that anyone that opposes him is a Nazi with an SS uniform hanging in the basement closet, is running for President. Again. This is the man that divorced his dying wife so he could marry the staffer that he’d been having an affair with (she was his second wife, by the way; he dumped Wife #1 because he’d been having an affair with Wife #2). He was having the affair with Future Wife #3 while he was publicly calling for President Clinton to be impeached (which he was) and removed from office (which he wasn’t) because President Clinton was having an affair and lying about it.

Gee, gotta wonder where Newt’s “family values” were at that point. Probably the same place where John Ensign’s were.

WEASEL OF THE DECADE: Senator John Ensign. By now, if you watch any of the cable news shows, you’ve been treated to all of the sickening, disgusting twists and turns that his affair, which he forced on one of his staffers, has created. THANK the Goddess that, today, Weasel Ensign is no longer even a senator and, worse still, faces possible criminal charges in the wake of a scathing report issued Thursday by his former colleagues on Capitol Hill. Included are details not only about the former veterinarian's affair with his best friend's wife but his alleged attempts to cover it up. The report reads like a criminal investigation at times with a narrative that recalls a sleazy dime-store novel at other points. He seems also to have involved his parents in this potential criminal case, by getting them to give the Hamptons a $96K check “because they’re friends of ours and we don’t want them to suffer any more”. Severance pay, anybody? He even made his WIFE fire her best friend. Talk about a “hostile workplace environment”!

And straights call the GLBT community perverted? HAH!

WEASEL OF THE CENTURY: Osama bin Laden (THANKFULLY, he’s dead). Need I say more?

Gonna be a VERY interesting political season, gangers. I’m really looking forward to it, believe me. Ought to be highly entertaining to watch the racist Tea Party, the racist, misogynist ReThugs© and the completely clueless Republicans trying to find somebody that isn’t a loon, a kook or a complete idiot to run for President – and I haven’t even addressed Michelle Bachmann yet!