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writing for godot

The dangerous are lurking in our society.

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Written by Monicque Sharman   
Wednesday, 18 July 2012 13:40

I'm a dangerous person,
with no one that loves me,
and no one who cares.

And I'm guilty.
I pushed people away, I screamed and yelled,
and I said, "I don't care."

So I'm a dangerous person,
with nothing to lose, with no one that loves me,
and no one to cuddle, and no one who cares.

And there are people everywhere who want love,
there are people I could cuddle, but I'm scared.
If I f*ck them, I'm a slut, or it could lead to break-up or rape.

I'm a dangerous person,
because I try to soldier on, despite the fact I don't know what's going on.
Is it me? Is it them?

Why am I alone?
Why am I outcast with no one to rely on?
Why are my children being taken away? Why did my friends have to move?

I say, "I'm sorry, forgive me, I'll change."
And I do. I work hard. But the dramas unfold, there is still life to live,
and there's sickness and bills and forms and fear and passwords and disputes.

And I can afford a small holiday, once a year.
With no one that loves me, and no one who cares.
Because everyone's busy, and everyone's dangerous.

Everyone waits for their magical token,
The wizards amongst us are mathematicians or those that make brilliant financial decisions,
A darkness is over the land, and those who flip-out are a light or a beacon.

A dangerous person is one that loves no one, a dangerous person doesn't care.
And no one loves the dangerous.
Who do you love? With whom do you share?

The dangerous crumple under the weight of their burdens, becoming bitter and hateful to themselves and their ex's and neighbours. If you were dangerous, you could kill yourself.
Or flip out of the system of hate, change your views, change your god or your leaders.

Being dangerous can be good.
Feeling dangerous means you can fight the system, but we fight each other instead,
are we blinded so we can't see the enemy? Or is everyone against us in this place?

Some of the dangerous end up hating all humans without realizing that a dangerous state comes from the absense of love in the first place.
And the dangerous often put on a happy face. In the supermarket, or at home.

So, smile where others hate. Say, "Keep the change." Say, "Take what you want."
But then you're ripped off and damaged again, and more dangerous than ever.
Insanity grows when we're not in it together.

There is a solution, and the insane may see it, or catch glimpses of the implications of some of the crazy shit that goes on our planet. Lucky them - not.
No one wants to hate anyone unless they truly hate themselves.

So I'm dangerous, I'm flipping out. I don't want to be violent. I want help.
I go to the government and tell them, but there is no form.
They know I'm dangerous, I've made so many threats and been in so much shit.

People say they're worried, they know I'm alone.
But no one can do anything to help. No one knows how to care, and if they do, they aren't allowed to do it because it's not in their budget or job description or area.

Some say I'm dangerous. I'm scared of you because I think you're dangerous.
We have different opinions.
Yet in the end, no one knows, no one cares, and any one of us may be the next to flip out and become dangerous. It happened to me, and I don't remember planning it.

Maybe I'm evil and lazy and a worthless, gold-digging slut.
I've been called worse, and maybe I am, if you reap what you sow and I'm all alone.
Alone, one of many.

All of my details are stored by computers - no one knows me as well.
If I want to go to the mainland, I have to conform to some system. I can't just drive down to the airport and hitch a ride - because I tried - they won't let you speak to the pilots then they kick you out of the airport. And this happens everywhere because people are unfriendly and nasty and dangerous. Unless you fill in forms, have a tax file number, have a bank account, get caught on security camera and have your bags searched.

Yes, I am dangerous, because I'm angry. At everyone. Fuck off and let me flip out.
Or will you support me and I support you? Great, I need your support to get out of this place, and to cancel all credit card bills and other bills and numbers and all the other shit that doesn't need to go on in this life. Thank you.

With your love and support and friendship, I will no longer feel like flipping out, and I will no longer feel or be dangerous, and I will no longer harm anyone else.
Love won't be a dream when it's real.

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