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Borowitz writes: "Several prominent Nazis said on Tuesday that they feel 'neglected and hurt' by what they see as the Republican Party's decision to court child molesters instead."

Roy Moore. (photo: Kevin D. Liles/NYT)
Roy Moore. (photo: Kevin D. Liles/NYT)


Nazis Feeling Neglected After Republicans' Embrace of Child Molesters

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

06 December 17

 

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."


everal prominent Nazis said on Tuesday that they feel “neglected and hurt” by what they see as the Republican Party’s decision to court child molesters instead.

After the Republican National Committee agreed to fund the alleged child molester Roy Moore’s campaign for the United States Senate, aggrieved Nazis called the move a blatant attempt to pander to the child-molester vote.

“It seems like just last summer President Trump was saying what ‘fine people’ we were,” Heinz Dorrinson, an embittered Nazi from Mississippi, said. “Now it seems like all he can think about is his precious child molesters.”

Dorrinson warned that, in their frenzy to woo the child-molester vote, Republicans were playing a dangerous game by taking the Nazi vote for granted.

“President Trump needs to remember who put him in the White House,” Dorrinson said. “Nazis have feelings, too.”

In Washington, the Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, said that the battle between Nazis and child molesters for control of the Republican Party was largely an invention of the media.

“The Republican Party in 2017 is a place where both Nazis and child molesters can feel at home,” McConnell said.


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