Obama Begins Calling American People to Console Them About Trump Being President

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

18 October 17

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report."

ormer President Barack Obama has started calling every person in America to offer consolation about Donald Trump being President, Obama has confirmed.

“It’s something I meant to do right after the Inauguration,” Obama said, during a brief break from the phone calls. “I feel terrible that I didn’t get to it sooner.”

The former President said that, although the phone calls are a small gesture, he felt that he had to do whatever he could to extend his sympathy about Trump being President.

“There’s a lot of pain out there that a phone call from me can never fix,” he said. “Still, I want people to know that I care.”

Carol Foyler, who has been grieving since Trump was elected, last November, said that receiving a call from Obama on Monday “meant a lot.”

“The fact that he took the time to call me, when he had three hundred million more people left to call, is something I’ll never forget,” she said.